me .vs. the world

say hello, one dollar.

2007-03-11T04:04:00.000+08:00

say hello to my new humble abode.

click here to visit mayday.

this doesn't go to mean that i'm going to permanently shut down soya-sauce, for obvious reasons.

im gonna miss calvin too much and this blog wasn't meant to be disposable from the start. memories, good and bad, are to be kept. so that's how it's going to be.

my yesterdays are all boxed up

2007-03-07T12:34:00.000+08:00

i guess it's gonna have to hurt
i guess i'm gonna have to cry
and let go of some things i've loved
to get to the other side
i guess it's gonna break me down
like falling when you're trying to fly
it's sad
but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
starts with goodbye.

"make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else."
-1 thessalonians 5:15

this is the last time

2007-03-06T13:40:00.000+08:00

my motivation for blogging today is just wrong. it should never have to be this way. it was just wrong altogether. up until that point, i've never noticed that everything was just dynamically wrong. and it pains to know that things could've been made so much more better. so much more efforts could've been put into it without me having to suffer the humiliation that i did up there today.

i just wna go home.

the art of seduction

2007-02-28T02:05:00.000+08:00

the summit of beauty and love.

2007-02-22T10:57:00.000+08:00

i like chinese new year. yes, it totally sucks when you get over the public holidays and have to go back to school, because you're kinda still in the holiday kinda mood, kinda feeling. but it's nice, it is.

wanna know why? i got home after 3 tiring post-chinese new year school days, tired and hungry. no worries! there's love letters, there's tarts, there's nuts, chips, bak kwa and drinks! i barely unpacked like i usually do, and just flopped down unto the sofa, and dug in. its a nice feeling you know, having come home after three absolutely senseless days, and being able to just dig in to nice goodies.

oh, there was the roomie feeeohna's birthday celebration! we ate! we drank! we talked! we gambled! and i won! EVIL LAUGHTER. hahaha i tell you jansen is totally totally, TOTALLY, cannot make it one thousand percent when it comes to gambling. i think he only won like, once? and it's clearly insufficient for him to recoup his losses. but its kinda funny, and interesting when someone just keeps losing, and losing, and losing, and losing. and losing. we had loads of fun, and i really think we should do it more often. kfc and green tea and pack of cards and card tricks (eh, guys?).

on a different note, though. school is M-A-D. most atrociously disgusting. assignments and assignments and projects and this and that and like everything else in the world. hey like, hello, we need a life? we need to live and breathe and like, sleep? does S-L-E-E-P mean anything to you?

and i got excellent grades for cs105. EEEEExcellent. cmi. cbi. i feel the earth, move, under my feet. i feel the sky tumbling down, tumbling down. big huge bummer lorr. why like that?!

one week break. rest. slack. tv. more tv. game. more gaming. football. more football. no homework, no assignment, no school. less of all that. to begin with, its gaming time - signing off.

will you be my walentine?

2007-02-13T23:39:00.000+08:00

minutes ago, i officially declared myself a social retard. seriously.

in a casual chat with fiona the roomie, i realised, to my horror, that tomorrow is valentine's day. the vday the vday the vday. see die, how can i not know that? proves how much of a social moron i have morphed into, in the past few weeks that i have buried myself in school. others in hall are busy delivering flowers (2 to the roomie, no less), and here i am, opening yet another book to complete yet another reading.

no mad rush for gifts, chocolates and sweets this year. the only presents i bothered to get was a convenient purchase of brownies at the stall in school. is that how i've become, my friends? boring emotionless don't-celebrate-vday-anymore creature? forgive me, if that's what you think. really don't know what happened. you know im really a hot-blooded passionate monster inside. ah ha! but now that im reminded that tmr is vday. i shall say my vday greetings here and now.

gmkj: saying 'i love you' barely suffices. our lifelong partnership has gone beyond what i, or any of us, could've imagined. when the road's tough, you girls make it all so much better. when the road's alright, you girls make it a rockin' trip. there's so much that we've done tgt already, but i can think of a million other things to do still. life's never just life when it's with you girls.

fhm: it takes a crane to build a crane. it takes two floors to make a storey. and it takes f+h+m to make days in ntu ah la la la la la la life is wonderful. thanks to you girls, days are filled with more laughter and nights are filled with more smiles. vherewer you are right now, i vould like to say to you, happy walentine's. ah la la la la la la life is wonderful~

to the peeps from ajclique: i think amongst the 5 of us, only feeohna has a certified, chopped stamp valentine. never mind, the rest of us vday with each other. can't wait till the day i see you guys again, and have daidi championships. miss you girls and guy, and i wished we had more chances to meet up than now.

to the peeps from ntuwkwsci: alright we the citizens of the school with probably the longest acronym for a name in ntu, the people who have a hell lot of fun even with the impending deadlines and boring-as-hell lectures. continue having as much fun as we always do, since school is hardly fun so we have to make it fun. happy vday! forget about all the projs! throw them all away! so the profs can't give us all FAIL grades! unity is strength!

to the peeps from church: one week away from church and i miss you guys already! i miss the lunch that i missed on sunday afternoon also, for which i paid for! sians. happy vday! my lunch kaki's i miss you a lot! feel like eons nvr go out for lunch with ur already. sai.

to the sister: happy vday, and pls remember that in the midst of moan-a-lisa-ing about your screwed timetable, you should also be mugging hard for AOE! wait for me to be back over the weekend we train like siao and KILL KILL KILL! (omg i can't believe i actually sound like a gamer. k great.)

in three words: i love you all who are impt in my life! (ok that was not three. )

question, tell me what you think abt me.

2007-02-07T10:39:00.000+08:00

prof vivian: questions?
me: (sings) tell me what you think abt me.
faiz: i was going to say that!!
we: (laughs)

ok even though this is madness week and it feels like it ought to be next week friday alr, it can be pretty fun. ah, the love hate relationship with the adrenaline push. am sitting in cs10(veryboring)5 lecture now, and am surrounded by fun pple. faiz, my fellow semi-korean, who also can sing tell me what you think abt me instinctively. koon char and yogs who siao siao during break time start dancing to spice girls (o.O, i know.) . er winnah beside me who is practicing touch typing. & many many more. hey, school can be fun. but, that still doesnt mean that sleeping at 3am four nights in a row and yet having to wake early is morally right.

the week started on a bad note, though. havent study for test, and yogs got her wallet stolen
(whoever you are who stole her wallet you better return now inside no money anyway so why you want to take it huh you tell me why yogs want me to tell you you are a fat s-ho but pls return still even though she called you that). but yah thankfully she recovering quite well. and she is out of this world funny. in replacement of her lost wallet, she has a new wallet. a new, paper wallet, might i add. check it out, it's pretty cool.

wth? 'wallet. please don't steal' ?! ok i shldnt laugh. ok im sorry.

last night was five mins to fame. ok yayee i won. haha now i have to treat 'everyone' to supper with the yi bai kuai i won. at this moment, yogs would like to blog in my blog.

yogs: v good damn proooo (: shiok siaZzZzZZzZz
me: (laughs) o.O

ok so anyway yah, it was kind of fun standing on stage in front of like maybe the whole hall (ok im kidding) and letting them watch my knees wobble. fhm and zak came, which i truly madly deeply appreciate. thank you. xie xie. gum xia. dor jeh. terima kasih. arigato. cumsahabnida. gracias. danke schon. tanks (that was singlish).

can i jus say that i am becoming socially retarded. im experiencing a movie drought, i havent stepped foot into town since school started, i havent seen gk since school started, i havent spoken to much of my non-cs friends other than those i speak to through a computer screen, and I HAVENT BEEN TO VIVO. jus that last point declares me a level 8 social retard.

the spell i'm under

2007-02-03T01:43:00.000+08:00

hello weekend, i see you again. but hello weekend, i can't really be happy becus you often mean hours of cooping up at home trying to clear that to-do list. but hey, weekend, i know it's not your fault that my limited days at home are spent like this.

ok. it's saturday morning 2am and i am home from a mad week in school. am trying my best to be coherent. or understandable, at least.

so like i said, the week has been pretty mad. RA-dee-oh finally kickstarted with me and the partner cutting a song into half when we started our show; playing two songs twice over in the two hours; probably blasting the poor canteen b patrons with too loud music, and what not. and i reckon that if the show is anything more than 2 hours a week, i will come out of the 8 weeks with severe, acute, very dangerous high blood pressure. but really good adrenaline driving fun.

nxt week can be predicted, depended on, almost for sure will be taxing until i probably will drop dead. two tests, three assignments, one proposal, and then five minutes to fame(or shame), plus RA-dee-oh again. kamikaze kamikaze kamikaze!! :x

i miss my friends. miss gracesee and miss titu, i have not seen you nor spoken much, or sms even, since our going out party at amkkbox jus before sem started. can i jus say that, life is pretty much not very life without you gals. bad enough miss ahtay is not here, and dun even noe whr to find her now that she's on internship. boo hoo hoo, i whine whine whine becus i can't see ur ur ur. (ok this is really the exhausted 2am brain speaking) jus make sure ur dun forget me becus i will bring chen yiru to haunt u! *mei dang wo de mu guang...*

cheap, must buy.

2007-01-26T00:03:00.000+08:00

days in school nowadays never go down uneventful. not a chance, never. with the kicking in of radio fusion and the start of all the projects and all, i'd be glad if i even have some time to breathe. but radio is really adrenaline. i went on air for the first time ever in school, and omg, i think im hooked. addicted alr. on mic im a bunch of nerves and all, but off mic im like i wna do that again! it gives you chirpy, happy, feelings to be there. even if it means any small mistake you make might be picked up by the pple eating at canteen b or streaming online; or picked up by those many many ah tiongs out there. but i really dug that 1 hour on air. :)

fhm day this week was at swensens. sharing wonder and shock stories to each other. happily eating our chocopops and sticky chewys and splits. and grocery shopping is always happy. everything was just, cheap must buy, free must take. its auntie until i cannot believe it. and we bought lots of things! well, something like lots of things lah. hahahah i convinced feebs to buy crak, and i bought enough laundry detergent to wash clothes for africa (according to yogs). taking the free shuttle bus back, we decided nxt week's outing shall be at pioneer mall. becus they have giant's, but fooderies like only got macs and koufu lehh. how to satisfy us foodies?

i die alr lor, i went to start on grey's season 2. i confirm plus chope stamp die liao. its all yogs' fault. she got me started on grey's. she sucks. but sucks, here, is a term of endearment. so she sucks a lot a lot. but some other people, whom iglobally doesnt like, sucks the real true sucky way. but hey the weekend's here. we can take comfort in that can't we? or do we lament the fact that weekend signals the start of another week of pure madness?

i swallow.

2007-01-23T23:00:00.000+08:00

i take back what i said.

i am damn stressed, now.

wa jit zhun jin sian.

2007-01-23T14:19:00.000+08:00

sie sian ah! okay, clearly, im turning into hokkien kia. this is becus i am waiting for bmw to start, and whilst doing that citation indexes around the world are setting themselves up against me. they doesnt like me. no mattter how i try, i still cannot figure out what that SSCIAHCISCI thing means in the 105 assignment. so, as predicted, i buay tahan cs105!

school, has never, been so hectic before. again, who is the person who proudly happily gleefully tell me that uni is easy? that jc is the worst, after you get through that, uni is a breeeeeeeeeze? wah piang eh, buay tahan. its definitely not that, lor! i dno how, nor can i believe, the amount of work (and trouble) i have gotten myself into. besides the compulsory modules, i happily go and lup a lot of kang tao on myself. publication subcomm la, cultural subcomm la, radio fusion la, church things la... very good, really very good. it is hard work, and timelessness, and stress. but fun, and exciting work too. work is fun. ok great i am officially becoming senile the moment that sentence came out.

but hey, life is beautiful (so beautiful, its beautiful to me). and when will i ever get the chance to do all these crazy things again? when i step into the heartless cruel brutal society? no man. so enjoy it now, or never.

life is beautiful (so beautiful, its beautiful to me).

funny humour, mostly.

2007-01-19T01:25:00.000+08:00

maybe thursdays shld be declared fhm days frm now on. finally had the fhm gathering that is so, so, overdue. and despite the letdown of the fishhead steamboat closing down, it was still a happy affair. code language. fhm at kpt = hm + yth + rm. maybe only fhm will understand. but for the benefit of my dear readers. this can be decoded as, fhm at kopitiam = hae mee + yong tau hoo + ramen. oh, and not to forget - lots of corn, peanuts, gula melaka and the gross bandung thingy that feebs ate. gosh, she actually took that 'stuff'.

simple meal, simple outing, boring and old jurong point but even grocery shopping seemed fun. yogs took FOREVER to choose a decent box of grapes that had to be big, w/o bruises and seedless. who's the perfectionist here? and she very funny, she bring umbrella right, and it opened in the middle of jurong point, in the middle of crowd and people, yes. aiyah we all self declared a lot of mistakes tonight la. but it was fun la, siao!

morefhmplease! :)

yonghe, forever.

2007-01-17T10:36:00.000+08:00

supper hop adventure with hall 12 folks last night. despite it being a lot more uneventful than i had imagined, a fun experience, nevertheless. i declare the best bite of the night, dou jiang you tiao. it's NAAAII-CE. others were pretty good too. ngor hiong and popiah in jalan besar (first time i see luk cheong in popiahs), drunken prawn char kway teow (really must drunken o.O) and some really good fuzhou fishballs at old airport road, and finally yonghe in geylang.

but the uncle in yonghe is quite ugly. ugly not as in physical terms, but ugly service, lah. whr got people so rude to customers one? ugly service ugly service. this is why singapore always kena slam for bad service. but highlight of the night - the guys brought us on a 'tour' of geylang. im appalled at how familiar they are with the area. which street, which turn got what kinda girls, what they'll do, blah blah blah. despite the sight, and da kai yan jie, it's really quite sad. these girls, most of them are really good looking one. look and dress like celebrities too.

also, understood the meaning of un-gentlemanliness last night. liews these boys really dno how to zuo ren one. find seat alr, ownself sit first. walk in geylang, walk fast fast w/o us. epitome of bu hui zuo ren, seriously. but at least it was quite a success, huh. dun think i saw so many hall 12 pple tgt at the same time, us being a rather 'quiet' and 'unhappening' hall.

so u who is reading my blog = u who i hang out with quite often. let's embark on supper hop also! it's a happy exciting fun and fattening experience! wah wah wee wah!

i laugh in the face of danger

2007-01-12T17:02:00.000+08:00

first week of school can pretty much be summed up in one word - uninspiring. even though this set of modules is the 'more interesting' of the two, lecturers have still been less than interesting. 103 is machiam 101, complete with the weird activities and monotonous talking. i suspect i will die in 105 becus of the potential numbers, equations and statistics that may arise well into the course. alas, the bmw seems to bring some hope. and stress. 108 has a very funny hand-actions-packed guy lecturing. but at least there's some mac-fun there. 111 is readings that cause an insane $13. jus paying thru my nose for the textbooks and readings is enough to bring some serious siansation. and i have to go back to the life of waking up at normal hours. or should i say abnormal, thanks to the four 8.30am days?

at this point, i wished i could be like myuk, and laugh in the face of danger. probably only yonghui can get this joke. but really, maybe holidays shldnt be so 6-weeks long. long until i totally lose sense of what school is supposed to feel like. what doing ur own laundry and ironing and cleaning should be like. and what eating non-home-cooked or even non-home-eaten food feels like. how about some "take me home, country road" now?

henceforth, the childhood gibberish now. if i become PM one day, i will abolish all kinds of homework, projects and early morning lectures. school can be conducted starting from 10pm, and popcorn and nachos can be served during classtime. tutorials are a big no-no, so are weird and meaningless classroom activities like bingo.

let's heal the world, make it a better place, no?

sayonara 2006, ahnyung 2007!

2007-01-01T22:51:00.000+08:00

another year's gone in a flash, hasn't it?

it's always refreshing to start a new year, on a brand new clean slate. i've given up making resolutions, because it seems the more i make it a resolution, the more i fail the resolution. so this time i shall just keep it registered as a 'gentle reminder' in my heart, and try to make a conscious effort to fulfil it.

but starting the new year = back to school! i dun waaaaaannnnnnt! i can't do it lorr. first of all my clock is like all screwed up alr. i woke up today at like 2 plus. on good days in school, my day would've already ended already. that's just, wrong. haha, but the idea of being forced to wake up early everyday and have a proper purpose rather than just having 'watch korean drama' and 'sleep somemore' on my agenda. BUT it also means i will not be able to watch anymore sunday night epl matches. man utd better not be schedule on sunday anymore. but its highly impossible. SEE LAH, i told you it's sian.

bye 2006. all the hard knocks you've bestowed, all the smiles and tears you've given... i've gone through them all. and i reckon they've helped me grow a great deal. it was a year of great independence, really. whatever 2007 has in store, i pray God gives me the strength and the courage to go through the new lessons.

more cookies & cream.

2006-12-26T16:32:00.000+08:00

i passed (like finally)! it would be appropriate at this point of time to do a giganticnormously biggg WHOO HOO! seriously lor, like finally. in the rain, no less!

it didn't come without mishaps, though. had a huge scare when the car started to roll backwards on the slope AGAIN. my heart really jump out until the end of the slope there. but the slope thing also a bit useless. PUHlease where got people stop in the middle of the slope one lorr. accumulated three 4-pointers due to 'failing to confirm safety' again. all points were in the circuit... circuit really my nemesis. but who cares! pass means pass liao. hyuk hyuk!

but to those out there who are looking forward to a ride from me... give me some time alrights. let me gain sufficient confidence with the big camry auto before you entrust your lives in my hands. mummy dearest in shanghai said she'll go to carrefour and get me a toy car to drive o.O ...

love the new shirt frm sister. xD

of samba dances & physiotherapy.

2006-12-24T17:21:00.000+08:00

we have a fetish with chalet blankets. the last time we were there to have ah tay's 'surplise' farewell chalet, we took silly photos with the blankies. proof:
on friday when we went again (compliments of erge and auntie!), we did it again. proof, again:

lol! it was a fun-filled day and night. we finally went cycling, all the way to tampines park to play the playground. but only for a while becus the sky started to rain. xie titu hates me lorr, keep coming to bang me for no reason. tsk. but actually its really becus she can't really cycle! hahaha.

we went swimming also! went late, so the pool was practically booked by us. until this laopehpeh came and say funny things to us. he's weird, and showy too. keep showing off his 'stunts'... disgusting. then got other people doing 'weird' things in the pool also. haha... we also not very normal la. they dare me to do shin chae gyung dance in the pool in front of the transparent wall, and i did! haha, dun dare me to do stupid things. i will do one. rode on one another in the pool, and did 17385 (LOL).

ben & jerry's! subway! big bag! green tea! haha... happy indulgences with the girls. we had loads of fun. but pain, as well. miss physiotherapist practiced on us, and IT WAS PAIN ONE LOR. everybody, please stretch before you exercise, or else you will have knots in your muscles, and it is PAIN ONE LOR. haha. but i had so much fun with them. as always.

oh, happy day. :)
ah tay, WHERE ARE YOU?!

on another note, this is apparently, the season to be jolly & to give.

sadly, i don't feel the festive mood.
sadly, what i saw this morning especially, was disappointing.

im not a player of the popularity game, i really am not. but sometimes, i'd get shaken too. especially when i see how some gifts were obviously out of obligation. and how some were received with judgment. if it were purely out of the goodness of your heart, even a simple 'merry christmas' makes me happy. otherwise, the greatest of all gifts puts me off. you don't have to return me one, just because i gave you one. i'd rather you don't give at all. really lor, i don't need it at all. i don't need to feel like i fit in, don't need to feel popular or even liked at all. PLEASE, this shit disgusts me.

i decided not to only skip a turn in the popularity game - i want out permanently. don't want it, don't need it, man.

i've got love where i've got love. i've got love where it counts. :)

im happiest when im a siao cha bor.

2006-12-19T23:26:00.000+08:00

i'm happiest when i'm a siao cha bor.

we gals have been meeting up more often recently, thanks to our schedules FINALLY finding some holidays in common. since we completed our exams, we've went to watch mayday and kee siao tgt; went to ah grace's to slack and play with bowyie; went for sushi buffet tgt (after 3 years!); and even came to my place to eat big bag. AH TAY! UR MISSING OUT!

anyways today we decided to eat our favourite KWAY CHAP and have big bag gathering at toa payoh headquarters. the rain is siao one. from yesterday rain until now practically nvr stop before. first time i see singapore got car is halfway under water one. so the 3pm became 5pm? anyway im not surprised, i was prepared to see them at my doorstep at 7pm anyways. they are latecomer queens.

watch tv. play comp. watch ONE LITRE! wrote ah tay postcards. and look at wu zun's huge tattoo. IT IS HUGE, no matter how much ah grace wants to hide from the truth. the truth always hurts, my dear. and to prove to everyone how big it really is, here is a print screen:

ISN'T IT HUGE!
it's big one lorr! cover like 80% of his arm?! ah grace, PLS WAKE UP. still say how small how small. IT IS BIG. stop deceiving urself, even when u cannot deceive others arnd u... o.O

but we had so much fun. watching mad youtube videos, including ATROCIOUS english translation to the S.H.E 'HOW' song.

that one is, can die one. :)

defeat is nvr sweet.

2006-12-18T02:27:00.000+08:00

we lost! leaders of the league, injury free, playing against relegatable team, and we lost. fulltime score: westham utd 1 - man utd 0. im officially in mourning. to think i started the game predicting a 2-0 man utd's way, and somebody still can tell me 3-0. hey you guys, i was expecting you to thrash westham lahh, not kena pressed by them! tsk. jose mourinho must be laughing in his dreams now.

but NVM. good thing is, we saw ole solskjaer and park jisung come back into play today. (ole, ole, ole ole~) jisung i missed u!! wahh he's zai, jus recover frm injury only run like siao liao. fast like anything. i love u!! but its ok i noe ur true love is ah tay. :D

my prerogative

2006-12-17T17:38:00.000+08:00

it's about time i said this - i've officially finished watching goong, & am now a post-goong mad person. i know i know, i am so damn slow. in the words of titu & ah grace, even channel u has finished airing the show then i start watching. but hey, lag-ness is my prerogative ok. im not me if i'm constantly up to date with watching my shows.

but if i judge and rmb correctly, i was more crazy after watching full hse than i am now with goong. one very obvious ruler is how crazy i was over rain than i am now over this shin goon. i suspect i like the old hae-moni more than shin goon even. lol. but one thing i enjoy more in goong - the setting. modern drama but you see the chinese looking palace, plus the elegant hanboks. i really like the hanboks! but i noe well enough that they are much too costly to buy for myself to keep in the wardrobe. reason being i'll nvr get a chance to wear in singapore one la.

now that im done with goong... its time to move on to the 298374 shows i have left to conquer. i am so not going to finish in time for sch. which means as usual, start sch with lots of regrets and reluctance. lol. :)

(extreme)ly extreme.

2006-12-14T00:15:00.000+08:00

extremely good.

went to the nativity story with titu and ah grace. roaring, roaring time. frm being fashionably late, to our heng xing ba dao of suntec city... i had so much fun. so much fun with these girls who've been thru the test of time with me. re-lived the days of mrs cheong's useless rants, the days of lao ma/shao ma, and walked together hand in hand, blocking the way of everyone else including the security guard. haha... its memories that can only be remembered by us who went through it, and feel it in the heart. 3 of us squeeze into the lovers' seat at the cinema even. until the end i moved to the floor to sit. :) really, really had fun today girls. it's been so long.

extremely bad.

ah gong. enough said.

oh, happy day.

2006-12-07T22:12:00.000+08:00

its been a couple of pretty happy past few days, both pretty and happy. started on the 933 course, which started off pretty stressful BECUS my chinese now is cannot-make-it-like-sai standard. taking notes is hard to do, BECUS i have super a lot of words i dno how to write liao. really like sai, wasted all those years of chinese-fying. ought to be ashamed of myself, really. but fun lah, overall.

pretty and happy MAINLY becus i finally met up with my fave girls tgt! last night, immediately after titu finished her last paper. abc concert and got high with mayday. i think my mother beside me must have went like -.-" these girls are mad. well, while the oldies quite high with that chen sheng ah pek, three of us were busy looking bored and playing stupid games. like hitting each others' lightsticks. THEN when mayday finally come out we seriously high until cannot liao. "lian ai ai N G!!!" very busy lorr, one hand hold lightstick, one hand hold clapper, still must blow whistle, and then still got the big plastic clappers... NO TIME AH! but it was fun... even though we had to leave earlier. :( cus stupid chen sheng ah pek sing so long, mayday only come out arnd 10.45. but fun fun! nxt time if got mayday concert MUST go.

timetabling is finally over. i hate ntu timetabling. the system sucks. i do not like kuai shou kuai jiao. its madness. 2.31pm my sister sms me all the slots taken up?! when the thing 2.30pm start!! siao one. k.i.a.s.u. until the zui highest jing jie.

but anyway! ah grace quick finish your tests!! then we can go havoc! we havent eaten sushi tgt for THREE years liao horr. havent go kbox since ah tay last year birthday liao horr. havent sit tgt and rot for extremely long liao. c'mon c'mon baby love love love! :D

the birthday song

2006-11-25T05:17:00.000+08:00

today, is definitely a blog-worthy day.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AH TAY! :))

its my pint-sized, are-you-mad, wo-yao-yun-le, all-the-way-in-montreux best friend ah tay's 19th! its more special now that ur in montreux, isnt it. you get to have 31 hours to spend your birthday, both sg and swiss time. :) are you gna go out today? will there be anyone to celebrate and blow out candles for you? will you have fun?
have fun ok... we miss you a lot back here. and not just becus we don't have anyone to bully after you're gone. msn or skype, or any new invention will nvr be the same as being tgt. sometimes it feels awfully scary that you're gna be away frm us so long. and the wait is too long sometimes. we're just short of the wholesome-ness a little. a lot, little. be back soon, k?

happy birthday, my friend.
here's to all the years we've shared together,
all the fun we've had.
you're such a blessing,
such a joy in my life.
so light a candle on your cake,
for all the smiles you've help create.
including mine,
including ours. :)

happy feet, lousy feet.

2006-11-24T01:28:00.000+08:00

vivocity didn't happen today. because our dear miss conjunctivitis had to go throw away her conjunctivated glasses away by today, so we went down to vision express to get her specs done. within 45 mins at that, too!

so anyway suki and happy feet followed. happy feet is not happy. well maybe only the first hour was happy. songs and medleys were sheer pro-ness. fantastic to hear nicole kidman's singing again; brittany murphy doing her own rendition of queen's somebody to love; and hear hugh jackman rock to heartbreak hotel. and it was super funny also. UNTIL the 2nd half of the show kicked in. everything just became too ridiculous and far-fetched. what were the writers thinking? trying to be special? they think they cool? really, jus a normal cliched cartoon story will be just fine lorr. why try to be funny and bring in all those cuckoo things man. spoil my show. at the end of the show, once the lights came on, it was jus sheer silence. i guess nobody knew how to react. kids were probably jus puzzled and clueless about what's going on. adults, probably kek abt the money they just wasted.

after reading all that, if you want to feel the true impact - go watch the show.

top of the world

2006-11-23T00:43:00.000+08:00

disclaimer: the following may cause nausea and disgust to viewers who are still going through torturous and arduous examinations. such viewers should refrain from reading, otherwise you will just feel miserable, lah. im sorry. :/

HELLO world! HELLO, exam-free, mugging-free, B-E-A-YOOOtiful world! as of today, semester one of year one is officially, certainly, surely and thankfully overr! getting a little hyper and exaggerated here, but i cant help it! it seems like an awfully short 4 mths, but while at it, trust me - it was unimaginable. but the bottomline is this - this is the bottomline - (i am so excited i am repeating myself) i am free. as free as, "naahh~ that's my freedom, naahh~"! :)

cs816 was the bomb, though. like completely, sai lah. liews question 1 and 2 was fine, then turn the page, very good, gg already. i sit there, stunned at the remaining 50 marks i have to earn. what on earth is whether this metaphor is suitable or not?! i thought i learning about some computer stuff... why got literary device come out one. and our lecturer mr. curly gnome bluff us! he bluffed me lorr. he say questions wldnt come from readings?! that 50 marks everywhr i read everywhr put "please support this with materials from the lecture and readings." mummy, not fair!

but i doesnt care liao. over means over liao. tmr onwards i am going to do stuff eat stuff breathe stuff that i like. its kdrama marathon, baby! no more muggathon, baby! straight after paper was post-exam-reward at swensen's. discovered tuna salad with very nice sauce. and white chocolate blondie! omg that is smthg good and new and nice and everything. what with pistachios, almonds, and PINE NUTS arent nice?

one bad thing, though. i have a non-repairable virus in my laptop. non-repairable, in the words of norton antivirus itself. very good already. ultimate sianness. especially when i scan my hard disk religiously at least twice a week, update everything and do all the what not's. why this happen to me!! though things are still functioning as per normal and nothing seems to be wrong, this is my suay kuan, you understand? i cannot have something like that hanging arnd my computer one. must get rid of it. wait for matthew to come back and save my ass.

tmr is vivocity day. i think im abt the only person i know left who hasnt gone to vivocity. candy empire! minties! lots food and shopping and getting lost! it is gna be fun, fun, fun. i am a happy kid. to those out there still trapped under the treacherous claws of our education system, luck.

it's our family affair

2006-11-17T23:30:00.000+08:00

a casual chat with my favourite titu inspired me to make a list. a list of what we love to do; a list of what we havent been doing in eons; a list of what we should do once when these eons are over. i shall name this list, "my list". (how creative, but give me some credit - this is midexam)

my list.
1. go to the carpark hawker centre and eat our favourite kway chap. with nothing but da chang, tau pok and kiam cai.
2. go to titu hse and drink yeo hup seng. and also por auntie.
3. grab a bag of big bag and be found on the sofa in my hse watching tv.
4. draw ugly pictures of ah tay while she is not arnd!
5. be siao cha bor's in kbox.
6. orange bowl in st nicks darlings?!
7. enjoy subwaaaaay! (now that titu has learnt the art of subbing)
8. go to gracie hse to niao erge and be scared of dage. (LOL)
9. go to gracie hse and guess riddles with auntie. niu pi deng long.

jealous already, ah tay? dun worrreeeeee. ur SPIRIT and PRESENCE will always be with us always. so morbid. it's OUR family affair so ur included ok. whatever time, venue and day we will inform you. if you don't come means you went out with tauhid and also means you hate jay. ahhhh i love my friends. we are happy three+one friends!

too strong for too long,
cus i can't be without you baby. XD

goodbye, my lover

2006-11-16T21:09:00.000+08:00

goodbye, my lover.
goodbye, my friend.

i wave byebye to cs101(like, finally) and cs102 as of today! conquer or no conquer, two papers are over and done with. i'll miss cs102 though. cherian george is super funny, super witty and super good all bao gao liao-ed together. i'll miss his lessons and humorous comments. c'mon, even his exam questions are funny. according to him, we are all now "cool communication studies undegrads", who also set up the group YAZOO - youths against zoos. LOL. trust him to come up with such stuff.

i doesnt like leh.

2006-11-09T01:42:00.000+08:00

liews. why got something called study one? worse still, why got something called exams? thought they say, heal the world and make it a better place? for you and for me and the entire human race? then why dun eliminate something as disgusting and detestable as exams? i doesnt like having to study, and having to lug extra things back home on top of my xiaohei. POUT. but doesnt mind, for these two weeks and these two weeks only, i will strive to be study queen. i am a mugger toad (yah, right.)!

people in hall are funny, really. on top of still walking around at 3 plus am, on top of leaving their laundry in the laundry room for days, on top of smelling weird (wah lau.), and on top of laughing damn loud while swinging a racket around in the room(like the person who lives across the block), they give weird names to people. i was walking back from canteen a with fiona, with the hood of the jacket i borrowed frm her slung over my head. jus becus i was too lazy to carry anything on my hand. a group of guys chatting outside on level 3 saw and went, 'wah little red riding hood!'. -.-" HAR?! but haha it was amusing.

my father also very funny. recently he has caught on the heels of technology. first he learnt skype, then he learnt sms, then email. yes i noe the sequence a bit funny but yes it's true. he starts to sms me things like 'queue @ airport' every other day. some weeks ago i received a 'queue at airport do u want lunch' and 'lunch menu porridge or fried bee hoon'. tt's right, minimal punctuation and more often than not, spelling errors. but its weirdly makes your day, or moment. today, i got a 'chicken curry any objection?'. haha upgraded, now got punctuation already.

its cell potluck coming friday, and im going to geh kiang make something korean. someone who doesn't cook is going to skip many steps in between, instead of buying or doing something tried and tested, im going to be super woman. ILOVEKOREAN. : )

18, 29.

2006-11-02T20:42:00.000+08:00

e-learning is kinda silly. to the extent of stupid, even. due to the fact that i have absolutely no self-control or discipline whatsoever, to wake up at 7.30am for a "virtual lecture". due to the fact that there isn't any "live" lecture even, just uploaded powerpoint slides. due to the fact that i am damn tempted to continue on my kdrama marathon. but EXAMS are knock-a-knocking on my doorsteps and its time to pull my kimchi korean socks up. HAHA.

but staying home is cool, is good. no more canteen 13 cai beng, no more just chilli kangkong + egg tofu + chilli minced meat. haha even though there's nothing much to choose frm at home either. at least i get my aircon and teevee (which i've lost touch with since i moved into hall). and i even got the chance to go meet ah grace (along with bowyie, of cus).

it's been raining an awful lot recently. not that it's bad news. we get good sleep AND good air. just checked the psi on tv, and it was 17. do we EVEN need to display it if its 17?! haha but it's good, clear, nice smelling air. once again, suntec city is visible frm my window.

ah tay: dun be too bored there! if you're bored u can go and bathe, even though i know you really dun like to. or you can jus go smell your socks lor... ur favourite pastime mah. :x

the unimportant, insignificant flea.

2006-10-29T22:21:00.000+08:00

the princess and the flea,
hardly have anything in common.
the princess gained her crown,
the flea gained the frown.

i saw it thru the window,
ecstasy, euphoria, estatic.
but the heart and love that went into it,
it never got reciprocrated.

you don't care, do you.
you all don't care, do you.
it's fine, it's good.
the flea is alright,
she'll flutter off into the shadows.

oh save me, frm this place.

2006-10-27T08:44:00.000+08:00

hello everyone. im back from an unofficial, unannounced 2-week hiatus. meanwhile, its been an uneventful, unhappening 2 weeks. so to cut to the chase - it was b.o.r.i.n.g.

what could possibly be so eventful anyway? well for a change, im free frm any more presentations, assignments, projects & speeches. (it must've been love)... but it's OVER now! :) that's really good u noe, no more working in bloodsucking groups and needless frustration. but then again, it also signals the start of real pure mugging all over again cus of the impending exams. EXAMS?! gosh, havent heard that word, or done anything for that kinda stuff since a year ago. mugging all over again?! :x then again, exams mean that holidays are near too! so i shall be a half-fuller rather than a half-emptier.

right now, im in cs101 lect. yes ok, chide me or whatever for blogging in lect. but hey, i think im the saint among the rascals in this class. that is, those who actually come at all. and for those who actually dragged their sleepy bottoms to class at 8.30am on a friday morning. let's see... maybe 10% are actually copying notes? maybe... 30% actually have their computer screen at the ppt slides? the rest... well. some are watching taiwanese drama... some watching korean drama... some watching english show... last lect even got one watching sister act. YES you saw it right, sister act ONE somemore. tell me why im here?!

the princess & the flea

2006-10-07T17:27:00.000+08:00

cathy & jodie. incredibly good read, smthing that's well suited to my friendship-pey taste buds. it made smiles dress up my face as i read them on the go admidst crowds, and as i prepared to retire for the night on my bed. and its something that can make u feel all fuzzy & warm inside, esp if you have company such as my siao cha bor's. it's effortless to relate to what is written in there. we may not have done things in the exact context, but that familiarity is there.

grace, kaishi & i didnt even start out as the best of friends immediately. we were jus somehow in the same class, but hung out with different groups separately. like they love to say, i used to hang out with the pai kia's! & we only got to know ah tay in the jc years. we may not have had a group like the meringues, but we sure are as colourful as them.

gracie. there are some traits about this girl that sets us apart right away. for one, WE ARE NEVER LATE ALL THE TIME! gosh, i have absolutely no idea how this girl manages to be late, somehow or another, every single time. and compared to me and titu, gracie is relatively quieter in class. i'll forever be talking, and titu (as according to mrs maria sng), will be 'jumping arnd in class'. -.-

titu. for one, none of us have sweaty palms!! hahaha. but we love ur sweaty palms also ok. :D the one who always rush home at 2.05pm every afternoon in st nicks to catch her tv & beauty sleep. family is 'shareholder' of yeo hup seng. EXTREMELY LOVABLE mum (HEE!).

ah tay. stark difference - small size. how about, extremely small size? haha but she's one chilli padi. its only been a short 2.5 years so far, but i'd say what we share definitely goes beyond the measurement of time. yay ur mum took over my mum to take top spot! many idiosyncrasies about her, this chilli padi. how about, ARE YOU MAD?! or... march 31st? the bomb: her weird photoshots.

me. let's say it together: disgustingly neat. perfectionist. goldilocks? to titu at least, im 'disgustingly neat', while ah tay's and her table are probably mt everest and 'covered in snow' the year throughout.

we certainly do not dress up like movie characters and don the streets of orchard road. but we do equally crazy things. others will probably think we're losers by sticking to each other and (probably) only each other in the years that have passed us by, and the years ahead... but i think we're all damn proud of what we share. and jus like what jodie said, "you and your friends define what is 'colourful' - and to hell with what others think".

to end with, i think i've found it. that once-in-a-lifetime-equivalent sort of thing, that sort of combination as out of the world as ice kachang with no red beans, but yet as precious as the promise of a rainbow. i've found my rascal of a pal, or pals, to be precise. but there's no such thing as a self-generating friendship, and we'd have to work damn bloody hard to make sure we smile at each other with our dentures decades down the road.

but for us, we're not the sort that pick the easy way out. how far we've come is evidence in itself. i love my siao cha bors. :)

2006-10-03T00:45:00.000+08:00

school is a wreck.
the day was a wreck.
i am a wreck.

but it was all made so much better by one single thing a single person did. :))
ken drove all the way to ntu jus to go out for supper with me. even though i was half asleep while sipping teh-peng and eating french fries and watching him play his rally, it felt heartwarmingly, warm.

cus amk to boonlay is like, pasir ris to boonlay.
cus not saying anything, jus sitting & playing games is like, better than anythg.
cus tmr will be petshop day. :)

thank you, you.

2006-09-26T17:52:00.000+08:00

the first time i failed, the only thing i felt was the money and time wasted.
the second time i failed, the only thing i felt was failure.

the first time i failed, i got over it within 10 minutes.
the second time i failed, i could barely keep the tears in for 1 minute.

the first time i failed, i was a ship with just a small insignificant dent.
the second time i failed, i know i was shipwrecked.

it stings to look failure in the eye - a second time.

i felt like hopping onto a bus, any bus and jus sit and see where it took me. but even my ezlink card refused to cooperate - no money inside. i felt like taking myself to my hideout during mugging days and jus sit, sip coffee, munch subway cookies, and read. but even cathy & jodie (which is a terribly good read), could not lift my spirits. and yet i was reluctant to go home, and possibly face people, on top of facing myself. so all i did was wish the bus ride would never end, hope that commuters would not notice me, and find whatever comfort there was in angsty punk rock music.

its not all over, i know.
i'll still try again, i know.
but the stakes will jus get higher.
and i'd be left with the choice of making it at multiple tries,
or breaking it yet again.

for now, i jus wan to binge, feel like a wreck, and wallow in my own self pity.

2006-09-23T01:21:00.000+08:00

mid-sem, finally.

who cares abt the stressful weeks and shitty grp members when u get to go out with a bang? i went out with a bang today, with the twang :)). it was ~~subway~~ (which got cancelled cus no white chip!), then cartel, then food court but of cus not for hei she hui, then subway (yes again, cus there's white chip now), then lido for drinks and icy tower. i officially announce, that we are the bomb. hardly had so much fun in a long, long time. breath of civilisation downtown was a welcoming change, despite that fact that we are miss da-bao-xiao-bao's for the day. stuffed ourselves full with bread, mushrooms, fish, bread, and more food.

fun is but an understatement - it felt like sheer bliss. most memorable moment - my inability to breathe through the jokes at foodcourt, and my getting high from there on. and of cus, her laughing at my initial score of 40 when she the expert game over-ed at a honourable zero thereafter. o.O

recess week ahead looks dreadfully packed with the wrong stuff - projs. assignments. but for now, what a night it's been.

:)) double chin, and lovin' it.

2006-09-17T00:52:00.000+08:00

weekends are happier, nicer, sweeter - not. it's all jus screwed. its supposed to be better, not worse. its supposed to be happier, not sadder. its supposed to feel lighter, not heavier. its all jus screwed now. its scary when you actually feel like going back to hall and having school, esp when school already sucks so much.

so do i rejoice in that i get to look fwd to what seems now like the better of the two evil? its all just, screwed.

2006-09-10T01:57:00.000+08:00

im missing my best friends an awful lot. :(

2006-09-08T23:00:00.000+08:00

some might wonder why i havent blogged in almost a week (if anyone even reads this thing anyway). well, uni life is jus hard to handle. im stripped of the time and the effort to sit down and start chanting abt the boring and uneventful life that i've been leading the past week. assignments and projs and stuff jus keep coming, even before i find the time to clear those that are arnd on my to-do list.

its not jus the work that im finding hard to handle. if its jus work, no matter how much, i'll jus probably only grumble and do them all the same. but its the environment, too. people are becoming too hi-bye for me to take; i have too many acquaintances for my own comfort; the air arnd sometimes feels too full of pretense for me to be able to embrace. one minute pple are lovin ya, and the nxt they turn the tables and you barely have time to realize it, much less know why. who is there that i can truly call a pal? it started off rather well... and jus kinda went downhill frm there i guess. what happened?

at times like these i miss my girls even more. its hard enough we're all in different schools (countries) doing different things. we handled it in jc, we can handle it again right?

but on a lighter note, forbidden city was the bomb. like seriously, dynamite-filled-power-explosives, bomb. can forget abt looking only towards foreign musicals liao, pple. we've got good, home-grown musicals. with home-grown artistes. kit chan is really the bomb lorr. singapore idol can go eat shit and fly kite for all i care. they're nvr gna in a million gazillion years make it close. starting the show in the first place was jus a mistake. kit chan, and even hossan leong, is the bomb. :)

this is my only chance,
love, open my heart.
years of broken dreams all in the past.
this is my only chance,
love, make me a part.
of someone, who shows me.
he knows me, and loves me...
at last.

2006-09-03T02:06:00.000+08:00

im up on the 2nd consecutive night at an unearthly hour. doing it in the name of work, but i noe that deep down, im actually trying my luck to see if ah tay will come on. it's wishful thinking, i noe, but jus can't help doing it. it's worrying not to have heard anything from her, that she's reached safely and is settling down well. even though i noe she's probably busy unpacking and everything else.

still not quite adjusted yet. its abt 2am now and usually i'd still be chatting online with her. there are lots of new albums coming out lately and usually she'd be the only one who'd discuss them with me. im 'chatting' with my cs101 textbook and looking up the new albums on my own.

are you there yet? safe and sound and settling?

2006-09-01T09:34:00.000+08:00

reeling from the after-effects of sending best friend off at the airport. its scaringly weird to noe that she's probably transitted, and on the way to far-until-like-siao switzerland. and i wldnt see her little cutesy frame for a year. no longer toapayoh to novena now, it's singapore to switzerland. can i jus say that it sucks big time?!

weird way of sending her off too. so many aunties lah, uncles lah, cousins lah... we were jus in the background. brief hug which i didnt even had enough time to savour, and she's off in a whiff. with the bagpack that's bigger than her body, and heavier than maybe even herself. im so gna miss you ah tay. you better come back as soon as i fill up that coinbox you gave. and she didnt cry again!! whack her lorr, everybody.

my wish, for you
is that this life becomes all that you want it to
your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
you never have to carry more than you can hold
and while you're out there gettin' whr you're gettin' to
i hope you noe somebody loves you
and wants the same things too
yeah this, is my wish.
:)

have the time of ur life, ah tay.
while ur at it, rmb that im missing u already! hugs.

2006-08-30T23:29:00.000+08:00

growing up is hard to do.
university is kinda tough, too.

within a span of a few short days, i feel like i've been through so much. too much for my yet-to-be mature heart and mind to take. being in ntu; being in hall - i see so many faces, familiar and less familiar ones. familiar ones like how i bumped into peiling on the bus today and it was easy to jus go HANAR to her loudly on the bus. less familiar ones like yunshan, whose name i found it even impossible to recall initially.

but even familiar ones can grow unfamiliar sometimes. its funny even the closest people can make you feel distant. like how they jus seem totally disinterested in talking to you, or engaging in anything with you. i hate how i have to try to bring up stupid things to try to get them to talk, only to get nonchalant replies. i hate to be found alone in hall, doing nothing but facing my metallic machine of a communicator.

but most of all, i hate having to face tmr. i have no courage, i admit it. jus thinking abt tmr now wells up tears. most would say that with today's technology, distance is really not distance anymore; like far is the new near. but, no, this is not going to apply to me. hearing her voice through the headphones or maybe even seeing her through a screen is not going to make up for the terrible fact that she is still gna hundreds and thousands of miles away. and the sad part of it all is, that i really can't do anything abt it, other than to send her away with all my love, well-wishes and most of all, support.

but i guess this is what life entails. growing up, watching people come and people go. growing up, watching loved ones venture out to try to make their dreams work. growing up, watching the realities of life slowly creeping its way into ur life.

i feel like i jus dun have the courage. nor the drive.

2006-08-29T16:42:00.000+08:00

29th aug. 4.41pm. reaching the end of the day. reaching 30th aug. reaching 31 aug. reaching ah tay's departure.

meeting ah tay and the girls in a while. last meeting before we send her off at the airport. rejoice abt meeting, or mourn abt her leaving?

feel like dying already.

2006-08-26T02:05:00.000+08:00

alrights. im reporting live frm costa sands, pasir ris, where the TOP SECRET plan is being carried out. or shld i say, already carried out. g, titu and i succeeded in tricking ah tay all the way to pasir ris not to cycle, not to sleepover at my hse, but to present her with 'jianing SUPPLIES!'. hahaha. we're such geniuses, seriously. but it was no clockwork w/o any hardwork alright. we almost died doing everything. frm trying to book the chalet on a suitable date; to making sure she will be free; to thinking how to make up for loopholes; and how to make her bring the swimsuit; to making the prized movie.

but it was all worth it, even if ah tay didn't cry after watching the movie! (BLEH) lots of laughter even now at this unearthly time, while we're playing stupid things like call the name and 4th-level pig. (?!) kinda surreal, too, since it's probably one of the last times we're gna have a thing like this.

ah tay, i already cannot imagine what is it gna be like one week from today. as your close friend, i'd of cus want the best for you. but you as my close friend, i wldnt wan you to go anywhr further than 1 mrt stop away frm me. :( now i'll have to change the 'mrt stop' to '1 airflight' (or maybe even 2) away from me.

but until then, we'll have the time of our life.
right here, right now.

2006-08-22T12:19:00.000+08:00

the good news: i've got my laptop!
the bad: im not gna use it yet.

why? simply cus the external hard disk is short, so i can't mass teleport all my files to the laptop. which means it will not be virus/spyware-protected; vobsub/real/codec-enabled; nor will it be bookmarks/favourites-included. which means it's pretty much empty. HAHA. so a computer is not wonders for me after all - it's the content. but STILL, it is something.

the even worse news: speech & presentation class in half hour.
possible fave movie/aesop's fables later. BOO. aiyah heck. jus go there and get it over and done with - its not graded anyway.

the very very good news: sleepover with the gals this weekend!
we're going cycling in the east! not a place that i'd usually prefer to frequent, since its insanely far and inaccessible. on top of the fact that i now reside on the west coast. but still, it's time with the gals. with which, i have the introduce the

extremely extremely bad news: ah tay is going off next week! :(((
sighs time like passed damn fast since u told us man. especially when we're all starting to get busy and got no time to go out tgt. hope got another terrorist attack thing and u cannot go! HAHA.

2006-08-18T12:33:00.000+08:00

things i do not like to do:

1. being in ulu-bahbah-ness w/o any forms of entertainment.
2. having to go grocery-shopping as a form of entertainment.
3. waiting for shuttle bus c. sai!
4. going to parts of sch where there is c-r-o-w-d.
5. having to decide what to wear everyday. give me uniform.
6. going to jurong point.
7. smelling the chocolate smell at boonlay interchange.
8. aesop's fables. HUR.
9. having to lock my room each time i come out. i wan open-door policy.

i'll update the list if there's anything else. give me toa payoh.
im booking out tonight. :))

2006-08-15T19:14:00.000+08:00

right about now, normal people like me shld be digging into some good dinner. like black carrot cake. like hokkien mee. or some deep fried chicken wings. WITH good company. BUT I AM A POOR THING. i am alone in hall, with no company for dinner! *cues awwww* fiona has gone for taekwondo; yogs has gone to celebrate her birthday with fellow rowing people; feebs is at home, and ... AH why shld i name more to further agitate myself.

today was a rather starving day. reason being, i didnt wna crawl up frm my bed until it was essentially crucial that i did so cus i'd otherwise be late for tutorial. so i didnt have any breakfast.

then i had a 1.5 hr break before speech&presentation class started. but since ntu is so vastly HUGE, i assumed that trying to find my way to the canteen, queue up with the crowd for food, eat, and find my way back, was too much stress. the last thing i wan is to feel rushed and stressed that im running late AND THEN go into class sweating like a pig. BAH.

and to the my sisterhood frm acs: HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOGS DARLING!! gosh its damn sweet that i met you again in cs. some things are jus extraordinary and cannot-be-explained. things are a lot sweeter and tastier with you girls arnd. :)) have lotsa fun tonight outside ok! love ya!

and now that that's done, i'll return to the hall room in solitude, lookin fwd to my 1-course cup noodle dinner. :x

2006-08-14T13:10:00.000+08:00

it's a a bird. no, it's a plane. no actually, it's ME online! on a weekday, in school, w/o my (haven't arrived yet) laptop!! M-I-R-A-C-L-E. haha me and yogs decided to jus check out the cs library during our break time, and guess what we found?!? nicely propped up desktops with flat screen AND internet access!! best thing that's happened since i (booked) into hall. so now, i can happily sit here in the quiet and un-crowded library and bask in my favourite pastime - surfing the net. UNTIL "doomsday" comes and i have to go for tutorial. im super ultra sian now cus later got naughty class, a.k.a speech & presentation.

breakfast was sausage mcmuffin. lunch was doubledecker chicken crackers, 2 cookies, 1 can of minute maid and another can of lemon tea. sighs. confessions of a uni student stuck in ulu-bahbah-ness. sights: hills, steps, followed by more hills and steps. sounds: live firing from the forest which technically is just right beside me. 'nuff said.

well at least i've got nice company.
acs = csbombs. :)

2006-08-12T00:07:00.000+08:00

hello, civilization. i've "booked-out" for the weekend - i'm officially a free person for the next 2 days. though it's probably gonna be a jam-packed weekend with family activities and work to catch up with, im jus really happy to be back amongst people in central singapore, and not like jurongpoint. gosh i think i've went to jurong point more times in the past 2 weeks than in the past 19 years that i've lived.

watched click! today. didn't think i'd like the show so much, but OMG click! is super nice! i mean it isnt everyday you get a comedy whereby you've got family elements in it (like cheaper by the 12), and the show IS good lor. gosh last 15 mins of the show i think i was jus crying lahh. all y'all out there who haven't caught it, go, NOW. it's hilarious when it's hilarious; darn sweet when it's sweet; and jus heart-wrenching when it is. I LOVE CLICK. click click click!

cs816 a.k.a information literacy is jus... un-understandable. think i was jus a few steps away frm really considering whether the prof was teaching in like tagalog or spanish or smthg. it is a CANNORT lor! and it completely didnt help that my stomach was practising growls then. yes, towards the end he started to make some sense... but STILL?! seriously, HUR.

it's been a gruelling first week of sch, even if the week essentially means 2 days only. its very taxing lor, seriously. i have absolutely no idea how im gna take the weeks and mths to come, and even less clue abt how to handle monday's bb&bb very naughty lesson w/o my bb&bb text. GG. jus have to take each day as it comes, i guess.

will you still love me in the morning?
forever & ever, babe. :)

2006-08-10T00:37:00.000+08:00

it has officially become 10 aug, the day im supposed to return to hall. right, it's only for one night since im coming back again on friday. BUT nxt week onwards it's gna be straight whole weeks already. im very, extremely, humongously, dreading it. yes, having stopped school for so many mths, there was an initial urge to get my brain juices churning again. but all of a sudden it jus doesnt seem natural. extremely un-"oh so natural to me". HELP! i wna jus bum arnd at home not doing anything constructive. i wna jus bum arnd and watch my hk show korean show. even if its hindi movie also can lah. i jus dun wna go and face the lecturers who seem like they are very geh-gao type. and certainly not the super kan cheong and competitive people that are all arnd. i noe they're the streamed creme de la creme people. i dun wna feel compelled and forced to be kiasu! i jus wna be ME.

all these growing up is irritating me. doesn't like it. :(

2006-08-08T14:33:00.000+08:00

in the words of (bobby) lim chee harn, sch is horrigible. after all but 3 lectures, i feel horrigibly stressed out like mad. first up, shuttle bus c is either on a strike or its bus frequency is totally out of sorts. on top of feeling like im gna be late, i hear pple going like 'did you do the assignment that we're supposed to get ready by today?'; followed by 'did you get the bb&bb textbook and read chapter 1 to 4?'. HUR. i am seriously traumatized within minutes of stepping into sch lorr. then virtually everyone starts to scribble things when prof cherian was jus giving the introduction to the course! even if i seriously thought there was nothing to copy or take note of, i couldnt help but feel compelled to write something down. and so, yonghui had the honour of writing '7 aug 2006, sch of comm & info, intro to journalism & publishing.' even then, it didnt seem enough. people around me were like filling PAGES of foolscap with idunnowhat.

to make things worse. everywhere is like crowded. the shuttle bus, the computer shop, the canteen, jus EVERYWHERE lah. AND, we had to find our way around. the trip to student services centre is HORRIGIBLE. my gosh. that place is the worst place to go cus it has no bus whatsoever. suggestion to ntu: you might wna start a bus route that goes directly to student services centre. we were like hiking our way around on hills and slopes?! AND THEN we had to find our way to speech & presentation class at LT11. huh? by the time we were there, (verynaughty)x10 had already started and we were like sinners for walking in 5 minutes late. and thus started the stress of readings, bb&bb, and aesop's fables. i do not noe what is aesop's fables!! i only noe archie, betty & veronica, calvin & hobbes and maybe peanuts. nxt tutorial i have to tell a story from aesop's fables?! HUR.

in conclusion, i DOESN'T like all these pressure all of a sudden.
i need happy food, happy things, happy people, FAST.
im back home for the holiday, at least that's a start.

2006-08-06T00:10:00.000+08:00

the weekend is passing horrifyingly fast. before i know it, its sunday and tonight i have to be back in hall preparing for the early morning lectures on monday. and do i have to read the syllabus outlines and prepare readings or whatsoever? i don't know, and i'm pretty sure i don't have the time nor the mood to do it. i wanna enjoy whatever time left in civilization i have today, before i go back to ulu bah bah-ness.

i feel like a ns-boy who is trying to push off book-in time lorr. instead of the 'what's the training later ah?' i'd probably be going 'who's lecturing later?' or 'what's to prepare for tutorial?'. i can feel it already - my brain and body is rejecting the studious lifetsyle all over again. but i can't really do anything other than put up a mental protest.

let's hope i begin to embrace the student life as soon as possible.

2006-08-05T00:43:00.000+08:00

i survived my first night in hall. it wasn't all that bad - unpacking, organizing, tidying and all is really my niche. surviving w/o my beloved ben-nana wasn't. neither was surviving w/o a computer. and it really was quite a dilemma at night. fiona fell asleep with NO problems whatsoever. she didnt even hear the phone ring abt 1 minute after her head touched the pillow. that's right, she belongs to the "touch-pillow-gone" community. me? i spent most of the night tossing and turning, mostly on my right side cause the light on the left was a lil too bright. im used to sleeping on my left on my stomach, with ben-nana nicely tucked underneath. im used to the cool air from the aircon circulating the room. im used to a comforter blanket instead of a towel for a blanket. im used to too many things that spell H-O-M-E. well get used to it, cus that'll be home for the nxt two mth at least.

all those welcome lectures were dead boring. i ALREADY can imagine myself snoozing away in lectures. lectures, tutorials and assignments SERIOUSLY feels too far and foreign. can i jus slack the rest of my life away? any remaining enthusiasm within me has been washed away by all the talks of readings and the stupid process of add/drop subjects. i CANNORT understand what's the deal with all the minors and all lorr! can jus give me timetable every single semester and i'll stick to it? right now next monday seems like a nightmare already. EXTREME, EXTREME monday blues lorr. first lesson day after 7 mths and i have a day jump-starting at 9am and ending ONLY at 6.30pm. that is a HUGE, HUGE CANNORT. anyone wna be my monday blues buddy? we can whine our way thru the day.

my first m-18 show with the sci gang today. and my most yuan wang $8 ever spent on a movie lorr. liews 15 mins into the show and i already had a bad feeling abt the $8 that is already not with me anymore and nvr will be. talk abt low budget shows. i thought lady in the water was bad. hard candy is worse. 5 actors, 3 of whom probably only had max 5 lines. all shot within a house. meaningless, meaningless, psychotic show. with an insane ending too. give me a chick flick anytime. i'd gladly take it. think the best part of the movie was when the ~~fat~~ guy sitting a few rows down started to snore. it was HILARIOUS. from time to time, even when the main actor is perspiring his shirt away in pain, this funny patron will start to shift his head a lil, then snores start to emerge again. CANNORT.

and we girls finally met up again today. sure, trying to plan a get-together nowadays is unimaginably tough - what with gracie's exams and our sch staff all coming tgt. but time tgt, especially now, means so much to me. even its jus some cheapo dinner at a warm, crowded place and doing nthg other than tv again later. time spent tgt, is after all, time spent tgt. the nxt time we meet up again will probably be the last time we have a gathering before ah tay goes off. its tough to even think abt it lorr seriously. we very funnily christened er ge (and da ge) with christian names, namely, ERGE and DAGE. how creative, arent we? :DD

my weekend is filled with happy things mainly. sleep and more sleep. meetup with 32/04 peeps. joesaphine's birthday party. but the impending things that come after that still cloud over my happy weekend. and its ruining everything. :(

2006-08-02T00:49:00.000+08:00

i thought i liked doing admin things. until the rush of admin things to handle in recent weeks overtook my liking for it. all of a sudden the deadlines to meet (like paying my hostel rent on time) and things to rmb (like the need to change ur network password within 7 days) and things to do (like applying for pcloan)... the list jus goes on. there's a small fear that hides behind - of not doing something i need to do, by a certain time and in a certain way that it should be done. it's really weird. it's only been abt 8 mths since i've done anything academic and it feels so foreign already. before i know it, school will officially be starting. and it's really no small issue for me. it's like tertiary finally.

there's a sense of achievement, a sense of pride that i actually made it here. a huge sense of anticipation of what might be coming my way in the upcoming four years. the things that i will learn, the hurdles i'll have to cross, the growing that i have to do. and yet, a heavy burden of responsibility to perform - up to my own expectations and up to my own definitions of making others arnd me proud of me. but i have a feeling it'll be a milestone-ish 4 years ahead. with lotsa new things. like new friends, to start with.

acs/scgs/fhm is quite happening. seoul garden, check. gloria jeans', check. ben & jerry's, check. food court, check. subway, check. kbox, check. cafe cartel, check. macdonalds, check. sushi, check. movie, check. all these within 2 weeks of camp huh. aren't we something. yeah our wallets are pretty fablous(ly thin) too. its hawker frm now on, guys.

checked out my room today. its pretty alright... after some shifting of furniture to look more acceptable. couldnt help but feel extremely glad that daddy was there to help me shift, and make the (wasted) trip to 8flags. im pretty sure im gna miss home after i go to hall, since im quite a homey girl. weekends shld probably be happy days frm now on, and tgif will really be tgif. nxt few days will be major cleaning, major shifting and major adjustments.

guess that's how life is.
"some pages turned, some bridges burned,
but they were lessons learned."

2006-07-29T00:36:00.000+08:00

i feel lazy to blog abt today, or anything at all. but for the sake of my glutton friends, i have to make a conscious effort to take down my version of our gluttonious day.

i was so worried i'll oversleep that i woke up at like 8am lah! 8am, to me nowadays, is extremely humongously foreign. its like telling the people like me to go sleep at like 10pm. so there i was, rolling around my green and blue bed, trying to catch some more winks and yet not oversleep. becus i CANNORT miss my subway! i havent had a decent subway in like... a month at least and definitely not a egg mayo sub. they're forever running out on egg mayo.

and we made it to kbox too. there is no I CRY SILENTLY! what a super ultra dampener lahh. was looking forward to 'you said goodbye, i fell apart~'! but it was fun doing all the other songs too. there was the usual english, mandarin... there was even cantonese and HOKKIEN. definitely not a problem for miss hokkien feebs tan. gosh her WU YIA BO and HONG JIN TAO is thumbs up one lorr. dun need hanyupinyin one. no surprises though, for my first friend whose first language at home is hokkien. towards the end when time was running out we were jus rushing thru, singing songs halfway. quite pathetic, but quantity counts when you're paying! :DDD

plus seafood combo at cartel. yogs taught me a new way to eat cartel bread. dipped in chilli sauce and cheese. may sound a little erky, i noe. it even looks that way. but it tastes gr88! :) we wanted to catch a movie afterwards, (my first $9.50 movie too), but i refused to watch lady in the water and all the other movies were all selling fast at PS. why do people love to spend so much on a movie that they can get like 25% cheaper on other days? i jus dun get it. and a horror show at that too! :x the cathay seemed like a better option then, but we discovered a live band in ben&jerry's! and the lead singer is like, CANNORT in a good way lah. he's like singing super high?! but he was good lah. it's always nice to listen to a good live band. its jus therapeutic in a sense. and YES, especially after the humid tunnel walks in orchard.

today was jus nice. doing lots of things that i love doing tgt. subway + kbox + cartel + macs. we are seriously gluttons. but i love it that way! monday is sushi buffet day! we have to meet at 12 because the buffet begins at 12. LOL are we kiasu kiasee or what.

peace. love. ice cream! :)

2006-07-25T01:31:00.000+08:00

today was like, insane. the og gluttons and i were supposed to meet at 12pm for subway. which later was suggested to be 2pm for steamboat. and then later became 1pm meet for dno what. it officially became i meet yogs at 1pm at toa payoh. and we finally landed in city hall at 1.20pm. and then chee harn joined us. and then we didnt eat yukiyaki cus they had this terrible time limit sai. but we finally ended up at seoul garden, the table barbecue people la. it was madness lorr. besides the sizzling food and the OUCH'es, seoul garden's staff has this mad 'fetish' abt playing the same songs over and over and over and over and over again. literally. there was this insanely irritating song that keeps going 'i cry, silently. i cry, silently.' its jus breaking into laughter whenever we hear the song repeating. there was NOBODY in the whole restaurant by the time we got to dessert, but that's probably because EVERYBODY had finished the ice cream and left. there was like only some misearbly peppermint and 'nasberry nipple' left. and the ice kachang has NO atap chee and NO red bean! ladies n gentlemen, ice kachang is now officially just ice.

our food spree did not stop there. sipped gloria jean's coffee which was surprisingly damn good. had ben&jerry's mix n match which was expectedly damn good too. after feebs left, we still continue to esplanade and then to suntec. still buy chocolate and share. (whitaker's almond gold!) and then after finish walking still eat dinner at foodcourt somemore. tell me, tell me, dun we deserve to be mass comm gluttons? but today was really fun la. all the sia suay-ness of everyone. chee harn had the most hits i guess. what with his takopachi la, his claustrophobic deduction (omg.)... yogs dun fall behind far also la. the i like, i mode thing is seriously cannoRt.

friday is subbway! (: but until then... think i ate too much today. need to go pang sai now. :x

2006-07-22T01:00:00.000+08:00

my day isnt too bright. :(( bad news is always a little hard to swallow, isnt it? hokaaaay its not exactly bad news... but it is lah. my ah tay cum chihuahua cum ba-jie-ning cum ms NOWWW cum are u MAD?! is leaving for switzerland!

*cues* CRIES + WHINES + SULKS

i knew it was coming lah. had problem sleeping last night jus thinking about today, since she'll 'announce' it to all 3 of us. i hate hunches. they're mostly correct. and yes, i had a hunch that my dear ah tay is going after all. to think that months ago gracie and i were going 'aiyah confirm wldnt go one la...' *cues* cries + whines + sulks again. money money money, jianing very fatty, BOING BOING! :x

hokay enough whining. but seriously, i am quite down inside to receive this news lah. how not to be? i love this girl so much! dno when exactly she's going... but i dun care. before u go we've got to finish lots of things tgt! ... *cues cries + whines + sulks again.

2006-07-20T00:36:00.001+08:00

im back from the hum outing! it was alrights lah - i'll give it a 6.5 out of 10. at least the attendance was very good! (: but inevitably we all broke into our own grps and started to talk amongst ourselves again. maybe we all jus felt a little unfamiliar with each other. had dinner at fish n co, which was decided upon since it was all seafood and very halal even though its not halal-certified. (or is it?) new york fish n chips was rather un-cheesy. and to think the description put "generous portion of cheese" or smthg like that. HA. commercial cheaters. tartar sauce, as usual, didnt fail me.

the hummers adjourned to cineleisure for some cheapskate dessert since we all splurged abt two tens on dinner. the foodcourt in cineleisure is hilarious! they have funny dessert names like "hei she hui milk ice" a.k.a black society milk ice; soft approach 1 and 2... heart 2 heart... poison kiss... all the very weird weird names. its damn corny. but at least their cheng tng has longans in it - that's enough to satisfy me, whatever weird names u have for ur desserts.

and then a few of us decided to be mad and walk from whr we were to city hall - hoping to grab a seat in some macs and chill. but in the end we jus walked to city hall and took the train home. damn lame right! kau i was trying to hynoptize them and say let's jus stop at dhoby ghaut or smthg. but guess i need to brush up on my hynoptizing skills. lol.

so here i am, trying to sip some yakault even though im terribly bloated. cus i need some things to help me feel like im doing something to digest those fish and longans. i feel sinful! been binging like siao since i broke camp. its eat eat eat everyday. and still got more food dates coming up lorr! oh siao.

2006-07-18T22:53:00.000+08:00

life is quite predictable now. starting now till sch starts, or at least until i receive notice abt hostel application, my life will fundamentally be revolving around certain few activities.
- sleep till 1pm at least.
- find some wakeup snack like tofu or biscuits with milo.
- turn on the comp, start my dvd marathon.
- when its time to eat, eat.
- continue my dvd marathon.
- when its time to slp, slp.

that is SOOO slacker kind of timetable. like my life got no purpose at all! haha but i like it that way. its good that i dun like to go out anyway, cus i cannot get any more sun on my skin! im SUUUPER black now liao. mus give my skin time to hibernate and try to command it thru sheer willpower for it to go back to being fair. im sorry i ever said i wanted a tan! that was so, so, SOO wrong.

anyway! there's hum meetup tmr... almost everyone's coming... wonder how it's gna be like - how everyone's gna be like out of camp mood and camp clothes and camp smell. LOL. but until then... im back to my daily routine of the above. (:

2006-07-16T19:02:00.000+08:00

yosh everyone! im back frm orientation camp! it was good, it was good... at least better than the lousy orientations that i've been forced to over the years. what started as a dreary 5D4N actually passed by pretty quickly. it wasn't anything too bimbotic, which i was fearing (since it IS mass comm after all), neither was it too uneventful.

day1
can't really rmb much abt the first day, except that we learnt the funny titanic song and the cao ah-gua song. played some games around ntu, which my OG disastrously lost and had to eat saltine crackers with wasabi, szechuan sauce and sambal chilli generously spread over them. it was nightmarish lorr. we were all like tearing and dying away. how could we have lost 2 straight games?! i hate wasabi. the seniors played this stupid animal farm game at night. which was totally silly, cus other than the usual animals they added things like starfish, dragon and tasmanian devil in. how on earth do you make the sound of a starfish?! lol. spent the night at sentosa, which turned out to be rather cold since it rained overnight.

day2
sentosa. though i'd hate this day cus i dun like going to the beach. i mean its like, sandy... dirty... sandy... but it turned out quite fun though. the games were not bad. hum isnt a very outstanding og, really. i mean, we're not the prettiest og, nor were we the fittest and fastest... but somehow when the time called for it we jus came tgt. we actually won some of the games! haha... like the stupid pikachu game and the dog n bone game. it was a whole day of games under the sun, thus starting my process of getting charred like huan na kia like that. went back to sch that evening and finally had the luxury of staying in a hall room. i got lucky! didnt have to squeeze 3 girls into a 2 person room. shared a room with yong hui and i think we were the only gluttons there munching away in our rooms in the middle of the night. good rest that night, though.

day3
eating day! amazing race + shi zi lu kou = amazing food race. haha... went arnd jurong west and boon lay area playing games and then eating food. the crayfish noodles was memorable. think this was the day hum really got mad tgt. phoebs, xiang hong, yogs and me were like the mad choir singing whatever stupid thing came to our mind. including the talking part in hakuna matata. ("oh it's a shame!...") it was quite a slack day though... we were jus taking buses, eating... walking, take bus... but that night was the dramatic night though. wah lau SCI really is SCI lor. the seniors are damn good actors! since day 1 they've been spreading rumours arnd the ogs, like who dun like who and all that crap... which erupted into a fight that night. say heng, the chief programmer, got 'killed' by being pushed down the 5th floor. there was even a fake body and a damn loud pong sound. we were supposed to go investigate who killed him lah. but it kinda turned awry since the og that was 'sacrificed' felt cheated and couldnt take it and stuff. but that's minor... cus everyone jus got over it in the end. but u gotta take it off to the seniors. they are seriously damn good actors.

day4
sea sports!!! oh man this was cool. wakeboarding u noe! how many pple get the chance to try their hand at this? still got banana boat and kayaking... me and yong hui like practically rowed to m'sia. haha, since we actually row until the 2nd link immigration building that side. it was fun, it was fun. but of course, sea sports = burnt under the sun again. wakeboarding is cool pple! shld go and try it! its $80/hour at raffles marina. its pricey, yes... but its a good and fun experience!
fright night that night. wah kau! scary sia! hahaha... but actually im not very scared. cus they're mostly seniors that i've seen over the few days. but i was with yonghui in a pair and she's like damn scared... scream until i not scared also become scared. but some of them really freaky lah. the sudden shocks were the worst. think the boy boy with the huge alarm clock still the worst. and then meda in the room with the monster. siao... i wna run out also scared until dno how to open the door. hahahah! fun though, after everything is over.

day5
12am play fright night play until 6am... broke camp arnd 7 plus 8. first time so early break camp! haha... hum won the most team spirit og. and won for ourselves some kbox voucher. haha...maybe becus we've been noticed to be singing all the time. but everyone was like super zonked out liao. it was a nice camp overall... hum was a nice og with normal, nice people. which was really good for me. gotta give it to the seniors... can see that lots of time and effort have been pumped into the foc, and they really gave it their all. darren even broke down while giving the debrief lah. thanks seniors! but i not going for hall orientation liao lah. its so tiring and troublesome. hahaha. but sci foc was good. (:

the narrators/choir/sound-effects of maimaimaimai~hum.

2006-07-02T02:56:00.000+08:00

yes im back from china! wldnt comment much on the displeasures of the environment there shld i be subject to public criticism like that nus girl. but it was an overall pleasant trip - most of our time were spent at home sleeping, then eating, then watching soccer. haha... the kind of holiday that you can jolly well have back home. but it was nice. ordering takeout for supper, having restaurant meals that only cost approx SGD 5 per pax, and doing a whole lot of walking. under the hot, scorching, sweltering sun most of the time. xiangyang market has finally closed... such a pity really. its more fun to bargain and fight with the shopkeepers! and xiangyang is such an ideal place for that. too bad... no more 'watergoods' or AAA goods.

world cup is down to its last few matches! so sad... gotta wait another 4 more years before i can go wild at screaming goooooaal like now. but i now also got no more chance... cus all the teams i support are OUT! am i dai sai or am i dai sai? sighs. but im glad that england is out. (i better siam frm all the fervent england supporters out there) im really fine with them, actually i think rather highly of them. but all that hoo haa, all that talk abt having the best english team ever, and performing like that... they jus dun deserve to be among the last 4. so bye england... :)

hence the start of july... and the days towards the big sch reopen day closes in. lots of apprehension, abt the kind of pple i'd meet... and yet excitement abt finally embarking on the campus tertiary life that i've been looking towards. the 'induced' adulthood and independence that comes along with tertiary life... well, jus gotta go thru the FOC first. hope it's a fun affair and not smthg like what aj would do. haha! expecting loads...

2006-06-20T15:42:00.000+08:00

cus im leaving, on a jet plane. don't know when i'll be back again...

im kidding. yes im leaving on a jetplane, but i'll be back on 28th night. few hours from now, i'll be off to the airport to catch my flight to shanghai for the next 8 days. it's kinda exciting, since it's been a while since i travelled with my sis, much less my dad. though the last trip there was kinda boring, i've got a good feeling this time it'll be better. hopefully, at least.

but the important thing is i'll still be able to catch my soccer from there! that is, if my mum is not wrong about her tv being able to tune to the matches too. scarly she anyhow say ah... then i'll jus faint! esp the last grp stage match between KOREA and switzerland! its quite a crucial match, unless of course, france succeeds in screwing up again. but even then, it'll be to see who climbs to the top of the table, and who'll have a better draw during the knock out match. ko~KOREA!

so bye bye my friends in singapore... my handphone's not gonna go with me, jus in case any of the people here dunno that im overseas and decide to sms me a "OK" or "YES" when im in shanghai and i end up having to pay 50 cents for that. but i'll still be very reachable though, will be checking my email everyday. msn too. so anything, jus email me ok!!

2006-06-11T20:53:00.000+08:00

world cup mania has started. and we girls, although not usual fanatics of soccer, spent the night tgt watching the germany-costa rica match. and it's good that there were 6 goals that night, which gave us lots of chances to go "GOOOOOAAALLL!", jus for the fun of shouting. :) went shopping for groceries to re-try our cheese cake, which turned out rather fine. had LOTS of food, courtesy of kuey-chap stall and my mother of course. it was a night well spent, really. been a while since we had the chance to gather together like this, no thanks to our jobs, holidays, and other no-need-to-mention reasons. its gna be a while till we can do smthg like this again, since it'll be my turn to go off next, and then our respective orientations will start.

new member: ah gua! though tay refuses to acknowledge her new found 'gay' partner, and insists on naming watermelon gua gua gua~~~, we also dun wan to acknowledge anything other than ah gua. as usual, dun care abt tay's opinion. the funniest thing was, ah gua dun have facial features like kaluo, nana and ah kio. so our ingenius ah tay came up with an ingenius idea to paste eyes and sorts on ah gua using paper and scotchtape! ah gua looked super out of place during the fruits n veg group shot lah!

gna be another busy week ahead. my heart's fluttered, stomach's full of butterflies abt what may take place. the worst? or the unexpected? well i guess the point is not really that. focus on the reason, yeah? seeketh first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness - and all these things shall be added unto you. amen.

introducing - nana.ahkio.ahgua.kaluo.

2006-06-06T16:23:00.000+08:00

i've officially graduated from the korean class! we did it emily! actually judging from how excited i was abt it frm the beginning, it's actually quite unexpected that it'd become so dreadful towards the end. i hate it when lessons are nothing but hangul. and sometimes the song-seng-nim would like to pick on me and emily. we are not baek-chok or whatever it is you call us! but it's not that bad either... it's quite exciting when there's listening comprehension. and at least i can proudly say that i can read the korean alphabet now. but understanding what those sounds mean - that's another issue altogether.

not gna continue to the intermediate level. dun think i've got the time for it anymore, now than sch is abt to start. and i dun wna waste the money too la. sgd300 is no peanuts alrights... especially when im on the verge of ending my job stint.

speaking of which! this fri is my last day at citi! its been three looooonnnggg mths, can u believe it. i tolerated ah nah and the lazy pple in the office for 3 mths! happening man. ah nah is getting more and more irritating la. whole day force-coughing, then mumble mumble... can hear him force-coughing as i sit here man. bye bye citi! i hope u guys die of overwork when me and titu leaves! gosh im evil. but i like it :)

2006-06-04T00:56:00.000+08:00

uberburger and back. well the burgers were nicely served and tasted not bad. but the service was ultimately horrifying. for such a place with such ambience, decoration and reputation (it being the 'sister' of corduroy & finch), it had terrible, horrible, vegetable service.

in the first place, when i reached, they didn't bother to serve ice water nor send the menu even though i was sitting there all alone. then we had to ask for ice water, and had to wait eons for the last 3 glasses to be served. and when we were finished, there was no replenishing of water even though we asked for it. then we waited 1 hour for our order to be served, only to find out that the server who took our order had misplaced our order chit. and that wasn't what irritated me the most. what pissed me off the most was that the server who made the mistake didn't even come to apologize and re-take the orders. someone else came instead, and that particular server steered clear of our table from that moment on. didn't even have the decency to apologize! and the other server who came didnt have a good attitude either.

it's as if they didnt understand the english we spoke or what. the hoo-ha about the size of the bucket of the fries - how on earth would we know what your normal size is like?! then we had to wait eons again for the dishes to be cleared, before we could blow out the cake. and i discovered that there was a disgusting towgay in my glass of ice water. and when the dishes were finally cleared, the two servers were like super buay song also. c'mon lor! im more buay song than u! i didn't make a reservation 1 week in advance and for so many people to get this kind of shit service lor!

so what if we got 20% off the bill and a promise to have drinks/desserts on the house the next time we go? i dun think i'll ever go back jus for the sake of the free drinks or desserts. totally not worth it. uberburger has ultimately lousy service. and the food is not heavenly fantastic either. and the pricing isn't that good too. so to all you people reading this - do not patronize uberburger.

nvr let a customer leave dis-satisfied. you nvr noe what word of mouth is able to do.

2006-06-02T23:28:00.000+08:00

im back after a standstill of what, four mths? round of appplause, thank you very much. anyway this return was inspired mainly by two things - the fact that im gna leave to go hostel soon and i shld probably keep family and friends updated, and of cus... the one and only... XMEN!

oh man! totally worth my 3 years' wait! me and jianing throughout the whole show i think we spent like 70% of the show in 'shock' mode. frozen there, with one fist clenched and the other hand over the mouth. ok im not gna be a spoiler here on my blog, definitely not like the idiots behind us who gloriously said out loud this person like that, that person like that BEFORE the show started. gosh those pple really stepped on my toes hard. i didnt wait 3 years for one of my favourite shows jus for some idiots frm behind to spoil me. so to all you people out there who goes to cinemas, here's my two cents worth --
1. dun bring your irritating kids who will go, "mummy what's the time now?" or "mummy i don't want to watch alr..." or "mummy i want to xu xu..." in the middle of the the show's climax.
2. dun bring any sweets that have plastic wrappers around them, or any chips that are wrapped with plastic. ricola lozenges, m&m's or pringles preffered. the lower the sound decibels, the better.
3. all phones to silent mode pls. better still, shut it off. i did that for xmen, cus i truly wanted to enjoy the show. and if you HAVE to have it in silent mode, at least dun start fiddling with the phone in the middle of the show. the strong lcd lights of today's 3g phones irritates the hell out of me.
4. clear ur bladders before the show. need i say more?
5. if ur tall, then sit at the back la. or else slouch down can? i wanna see the whole, FULL screen. cant help it if im vertically challenged.

in conclusion, jus let pple who truly are anticipating a good show ENJOY the show in full pleasure. got that clear? on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being very good), i think i'd still give my enjoyment of x3 a 11. but the folks arnd me in the cinema could've made it much higher.

but dun be mistaken, x3 still rox my sox. *grins.

2006-02-08T23:10:00.000+08:00

jus being alive in itself, is a great blessing.

as instructed by the girls, i watched one litre of tears. apart frm being a great show and touching story, its something that can teach you a lot of life lessons. gratitude, for one thing. being thankful for breathing in each breath of air, taking every action that your brain commands your body... you really don't realize until you see something bad placed before your eyes. one litre of tears showed me so many things - the bravery of a young girl stricken with a cruel disease; the warmth and security that family can provide; the support that friends can be depended on to give (and yet the reality of it all)...

be thankful, for everything that you're enabled to do now, for every word and action that you can say and take. "a person does not live in the past, but only in the now and present, in what one is able to do right now."

im so happy im alive.

2006-01-15T00:39:00.000+08:00

was jus on the phone with the girls for like 2 hrs. *smiles* we have so much smiles and laughter everytime we talk together. more like roaring laughter comparable to hyenas. its such a stress-reliever. we shared stories from work... disgusting tales and horrendous things. we're all kinda having a culture shock. we knew the working world was gna be tough, but didnt expect it to be so real. completely desperate and disgusting colleagues... inconsiderate people... unhelpful and backstabbing co-workers. the feeling of the impending society at my feet. the knowing that i'll soon step into such a reality forever, kinda makes me feel bad. it's like i wna stay sheltered in the life of a student, only knowing exam stress and tough studies... but none of that dark, scary reality. i guess it isn't possible. it'll come sooner, or later. i guess it's good that we're getting a taste of it now. but im jus glad that we have each other to lean on still. i jus feel like as long as i have these bunch of crazy gals arnd me... even the darkest days can be lifted up, even the most unimaginable disasters will have some light. and i'll remain upright (and sane) as long as they're around.

i've quit fish&co. can't take it anymore. i was planning on being nice and working until the end of the month... but that friday the 13th was the last straw. you know, im fine if i have to work hard for you. after all, im but a mere employee. im fine even if the hours are long and pay is peanuts. after all, the things i learn and experiences are more valuable. im fine even if the colleagues seem as if they're hiding knives behind their smiles and nvr ever seem to want to help. after all, it is the real world. what i cannot withstand is that i slog my hearts out each time i'm there, really seeking to give my best and all no matter how worn out i am, but what i get are uninviting comments. i feel so overworked, and yet you think im underworked. i speak from my heart when i say that i've never ever not taken the job seriously. no matter what shit job it is i'm assigned to do, i do it with all my heart. i dunno what shit you guys have observed... but i tell you, you're wrong. so if i'm not only not appreciated, yet undermined... then forget it. it isn't worth staying. i'm leaving not because i can't take negative comments... but because i see no point in wasting my time and efforts on a company who doesnt abide by their corporate philosophy of "caring enormously for our employees". bullshit.

it's on to bluer skies and greener pastures for me.

2006-01-03T17:45:00.000+08:00

nei ho ah! ngo hai mickey mouse ah! hahaha hello singapore, i'm back from hong kong. yes the "unbelievable" and super "eventful" 5 days and 4 nights in hong kong. we're back, all four of us, safe and sound and in one piece. though bad things did happen... it was a great learning experience.

day 1
jianing was late at the airport!!! we're in hongkong already lah, wait for you to arrive. and the smallest person brought the heaviest luggage! and her tote bag is SUPER heavy too! ren xiao xiao, bag da da. anyway we went in earlier to walk walk... and the service at auntie anne's is terrible!! no wonder we lost to hong kong lah! and they forced me take a picture with this toy shop called kaboom. or else i "spoil their holiday". anyway we played mahjong in the plane, using the inflight screen. quite slow, but still managed to play 2 rounds. and i won! wahaha. food was good, and we had magnum ice cream too! sq rox. arrival at HKIA and i realized i forgot to bring fiona's number!! ugh... anyway we managed to find the bus to our hotel, and arrived safely at YMCA Int'l House. quite a decent place, to my surprise... nice cosy room with a clean and nice bathroom. after settling down we went out to the ladies market to walk and eat... and hence started our bargaining spree. hahaha we mus act and pei he very well with one another, so the stallowner will give us the price we want. its really mark up until like mad. the only disappointment was the slight drizzle. dampened the shopping a little, and forced us to wash our hair that night! anyway we bought a few stuff... ate our fill and proceeded back to the hotel alr.

day 2
disneyland day! woke up super early so we could get to disney early to avoid the crowd and mad queueing. breakfast was some peanut porridge. huge serving becus of the side dish... wasn't very delicious anyway. the mtr ride to disneyland was surprisingly short. love the disneyland train!! everything is mickey... mickey-shaped handle, mickey-shaped window... we were wondering how come we're the only pple on the train taking pictures. then we realize that those pple on the train are the workers!! hahaha. they mus be thinking "i hate mickey mouse", unlike us sua ku's. anyway there was no queue! we got our tickets and waited to get in. disneyland! the happiest place on earth. its understandingly small, but still quite enjoyable. we took rides after rides, photo after photo. we love siao gow!! and chip n dale! mickey looks a lil weird up close though. and we spend our queueing time deciphering whether the person inside each character was actually male or female. and these characters really super ai yan. love to act man! we only had lunch in disneyland cus we wanted to save money. our regret: didnt eat glazed chicken wing! can't find it anyway. but smelt good. fireworks!!! super nice man. took tons of videos of it. it was worth the close-to-2-hour wait. it's a pity its only fireworks and not a character show. but good enough. went back to the hotel thereafter, settled our finances, had our cup noodles and porridge (*yucks) and milo... and zzz.

day 3
ocean park day! could sleep in a little for today, since we're meeting jianing's uncle jason and family. and we concluded that everybody will flock to disneyland so ocean park should be deserted. but NO! quite crowded too! little marcus and little marvin were super adorable. marvin was a little more shy, but marcus likes to wave! hahaha. anyway we queued to take the mine train. thought it was quite simple UNTIL we saw the hidden part of the roller coaster behind the mountain. ocean park cheat us!! oh man it was quite a scary ride. scream until a point where no sound came out. but hahah it was a cool ride. met uncle jason and family for lunch... after which we went about our own again. took the viking (much to my unwillingness) but it was surprisingly ok. nothing much... it was the eagles that got to me. super dizzy lah!! took a while for me to recover after that. missed the dragon becus of the dizziness. REGRET! titu and gracie conquered it twice man. anyway we took the cable car down to the lowland. we conclude that cable car is actually the scariest ride in ocean park. its SUPER high and super scary lah! hold the camera to take pictures also feel wizzy. we left soon after reaching the lowland... nothing much lah actually ocean park. its so big until you kinda dunno where to go. we missed the animal shows though. REGRET! but we saw several shuai ge's in ocean park! the 2 twins and the ang-moh outside the swing. gave the peak a miss, and went to causeway bay instead. had the wanton noodles and the world's best tau huey at chi ji's. its really SUPER SUPER good. the tau huey is like, melt in your mouth instantly! tau huey will never be the same again man. went shopping about and got back to the hotel late almost 12... only to discover the bad thing - gracie's money got stolen in the hotel. luggage zip was pried open, things ransacked and money gone. passport in the safe was still there though. so the drama hence started. called the manager and chief security officer up, and then went to the police station and came back. called 999 and the police officers came down, then the CID came down, and then the CSI came down. it was kinda traumatising really... cus it was so late at night, we couldn't call the people we know, and we didnt even noe if we were being cheated of any normal procedures with the police. 4 helpless girls all the way in hong kong... losing money is one thing, but our safety is another. how safe are we, if one person can jus come into our hotel room without any signs of break in? anyway it was kinda exciting to watch a CSI in action really, after watching so many seasons of CSI myself. it was a bad thing to happen, but i guess it was an experience. we really stood for each other, and took care of one another. memorable, unforgettable last day of 2005. jus thank God that our passports and air tickets are still there, and we're all safe.

day 4
woke up around 11am, after sleeping at close to 6am in the suite. got upgraded to a suite after the incident took place, and all our overseas calls were FOC. we all called our families... and prepared to go out. NOW we're famous pple in the hotel. everybody knows us! and our room gets double locked by the manager... only he has access to our room. mention the room 2581 and people immediately know who we are. it was kinda hilarious to see how pple react when they find out we're from 2581. we went out to eat at the nearby sheng ji mian zhou. fantastic porridge!!! oh man it's like super nice!? we've decided to buy their franchise and open in singapore!!! hahahahah. anyway we ordered vegetables too cus we feel super unhealthy cus our urine is SUPER yellow. anyway after that we managed to find the REAL fa yuen street, where all the cheap things are. that street is like more catered to the hong kong-ers. oh we bought a bunch of bananas too, jus to be healthy. went back to the hotel to put our buyings, and went to tsim sha tsui thereafter. saw the fireworks, found esprit outlet and shopped. super cheap lah the esprit there. i SUPER regret not buying more. went back to yau ma tei and had dinner at yoshinoya. the hongkongers are night birds i tell ya. it was like 10pm and yoshinoya was still super crowded. we ended up counting down at ladies market... it was SUPER unhappening. unhappening until it was hilarious. finish counting down and we walked back. the walk back was super hilarious, what with all the "boh-boh's" and jianing's crazy songs. it was good to have so much laughter after the previous night. we intended to play mahjong and chiong the whole night... but by the time we all finished packing, it really was time to sleep.

day 5
we overslept!!! OMG! supposed to meet uncle jason at 10am at his house and guess what time we woke up? 9.30am!! oh man it was like 4 never-bathe girls rushing around anyhow change and run out to take cab. anyway we met lao gu, lao zhang, the other uncles and family for dim sum... oh man uncle jason ordered SO MUCH FOOD. can't finish lah! but the dim sum was nice... i love the chee cheong fun! after that uncle jason brought us to buy polo bun... bai tang gao... and other stuff. took a cab back to yau ma tei to get the laopo biscuits. went back to the hotel, did the last packing and went to check out. apparently there were TWO security guards eyeing our belongings... in case it gets missing? hahaha told you we're super VIPs. took the bus back to the airport, checked in our stuff and went to eat xu liu shan. and... no wonder singapore lose! the airport hired people JUST to give out sweets to travellers. and they even have a kids corner in the boarding room to watch cartoon network. no wonder we lose!!! anyway we were all tired lah... and the flight back was rather uncomfortable cus got SUPER lot of turbulence. its like shaking for 3 hrs? lots of pple came to pick us up... but jianing got the most. like her WHOLE FAMILY came?? including cousins and all? finally saw little ashley bai wan. hahaha. we say our goodbyes and went home. thus concluding the unbelievable and eventful hk trip. taiwan, next year, girls? ;)

2005-12-27T23:57:00.000+08:00

*dum-dum-dum-dum* (ascending in pitch) attention all, this is to inform anyone and everyone out there that i will be departing for hongkong tmr. along with my helluva bunch of crazy girlfriends, we're going to shop and eat and shop and eat and shop and eat and shop and eat.... (after 124 hours)... and eat in hongkong. sms me as you wish, since the charge is the same, and i dun have to pay for receiving. but jus dun expect any reply unless its urgent, like 911-urgent. will be back in the new year, late night on sunday. so see y'all in the new year. happy new year. *dum-dum-dum-dum* (descending in pitch)

2005-12-27T23:35:00.000+08:00

things i loved in 2005 and would like more of in 2006
1. my crazy bunch of girlfriends from laughter-land. there's never a smile amiss.
2. my growing independence and self-reliance.
3. neater (though still messy to some) and easier to handle hair.
4. scv! bring it on, endless movies, sitcoms, documentaries...
5. korean craze - dae jang geum, full hse, the list goes on. sarang-hae!
6. public transport with student concession. (but none of that in 2006!)
7. new prized possessions. se k750i. ipod mini. adidas jacket.
8. unfailing computer. didnt fail me at all this year! :D
9. watching re-runs after re-runs.

things i hated in 2005 and dun wan in 2006
1. people who don't move into the middle of the carriage on the mrt.
2. people who don't wait for passengers to alight before boarding the train.
3. being confronted in a train by a mon mon.
4. impunctual meetings.
5. heartaches, founded or unfounded - they're bummers likewise.
6. impersonality. hypocrisy.
7. having to clean up the mess after other people.
8. mugger life.
9. being broke half the time.
10. knowing how "needy" charity organizations a.k.a nkf is actually filthy-dirt-rich. and misusing our donations.
11. bad grades. red marks. lousy results. NO-NO in 2006!

2005-12-12T22:14:00.000+08:00

right now, im the happiest girl on earth!!! cus i got a green adidas jacket... and REEEEAAAAALLL one at that! wahahahah its a xmas gift from onni, man it was so unexpected. i didnt expect it at all!!! its my fave brand, in my fave colour, and best of all, it'll be in time for my hk trip!! man i love it!!! thank onni! sarang-hae-yo! wo ai ni! aishiteru! ilu! :DDDDD

2005-12-07T23:26:00.000+08:00

finished watching daejanggeum for the second time today. well it wasn't a really full re-run lah, since i skipped all the unnecessary parts. only watch full until the part where han sang gong died... and where jang geum started to unravel the truth behind the sulphur duck incident. which means i skipped a lot. think i'll move on to other shows for now, but after that, i'll come back to daejanggeum again! "han sang gong, i'll be back!"

updated my greedy chant list. *points left* any of you guys out there feeling loaded this festive season, pls feel free to fulfil my greedy chants! :)

2005-11-23T01:22:00.000+08:00

im hardly a crowd-follower - not an advocate of the herd instinct. but can't help but blog abt what everyone else is blogging abt -- the a's are officially over. well it wasn't something that i was leaping and rejoicing about outside the exam hall... its jus a big burden off my shoulders i guess. 2 years of toil, day in day out, finally comes to a close now. it's hard to know how to even react to the end of the a's... it jus seems next to natural that i should rush home to start mugging all over again. nonetheless, im really glad it's all over. no matter how tough it's been, no matter how badly it seems im going to do... it's all over.

things dun seem to get better after the a's though... like i said, a big gigantic bomb dropped on me immediately after my last paper. something that came as a total shock, something totally unexpected, but also something that i can't change. from sheer shock, to anger, to understanding... turbulent journey in a short span of 2 days. even though it doesn't really concern me directly, it's still of utter importance, becus it concerns my loved one. girl, we all jus dun wan u to be hurt becus of a moment of folly. it seems ur happy now, and i do hope this happiness continues. even if it doesn't, we'll still be there for u. even though i noe that i'd really want to kok you on the head, give you a big dressing down and say "see i told you right?!?". no girl, jus like how one can nvr deny a kin... we do the same to u. jus be xing fu. haeng-bok!

went to see emily today. even though it was probably only abt a quarter of sec4purity there at the small hospital ward, it really was a heartening sight. a group of gals separated into different schools and environment for 2 years, still able to come together and laugh like hyenas, and still make fun of hanwan like we used to. we've been separated for 2 years and we're still able to be like old times... i dun even see things like that in the environment that i've been in for 2 years despite being together physically. it's heartening, it really is. emily dear, get well soon k! we'll have another get-together after you recover. and we'll ge kong sao yang then! :)

now that i no longer have to stress over exams and studies... perhaps it's time to put my life in order. the hurricanes and typhoons that's come and gone, sweeping the order and stillness in my life away... it's time to pick up the pieces and sort out the mess, one... by... one.

2005-11-18T00:07:00.000+08:00

it seems the worst has past. well not technically, since i still have another history paper to get thru on monday. that means another 3 gruelling hours of 4 four-page essays, sore arms, cold sweat, and not to mention the burden of having to get thru another week. but at least... i get to enjoy the benefit of a few days of break before monday's paper. unlike what i've had the past few days - total madness and immense stress.

its an uphill route for the a lvls. from feeling ok... things have only gotten worse. im dun feel like im exaggerating when i say that the papers this year are all so tough. convincing yourself and knowing that you've tried your best jus doesn't suffice. don't know how man... still got one more to go. at the end of it all, will the burden of the a lvls really be lifted off my shoulder? i have serious doubts.

exams aside, i've been watching dae jang geum as planned everyday. its actually a blessing i dun have the dvds, cause if i do... i prolly dun need to study alr. haha, but getting my hands on the dvds soon, so i can watch after the exams all at one shot, just like how i like it. everyday mus wait until this time then can watch that episode is miserable. but today's episode was super sad lah. why mus the good people always end up dead!?!? insufferable. now its only jung shang gong... lady han shang gong die i sure tiao lao alr. how?!?

2005-11-07T21:42:00.000+08:00

the Lord is my shepherd, i shall not flunk;
he keeps me from lying down when i should be studying,
he leads me besides the water cooler for a study break,
he restores my faith in study guides.
he leads me to better study habits
for my grades' sake.
even though i walk thru the valley of borderline grades,
i will not have a nervous breakdown;
for thou art with me;
my prayers and friends, they comfort me.
thou gives me answers in moments of blankness;
thou anoints my head with understanding.
my test paper runneth over with questions i recognize
surely passing grades and flying colours shall follow me
all the days of examinations.
and i shall not have to dwell in this school forever
amen!

2005-11-03T22:13:00.000+08:00

anointing oil, anointing oil
fall down upon my life
fresh anointing oil
anointing oil, anointing oil
fall down upon my life
make me a sacrifice
until all my heart and strength
are one with the Lord.

2005-10-26T21:55:00.000+08:00

"...i don't understand God's plans in our lives. sometimes when things seem to be God-given, they are suddenly snatched away and all you're left with is a disappointed and discouraged heart. that's when i wonder, 'why did God do what He did?' God is always real and true in my life, but that doesnt mean that there are never times that i get upset with God; times when i am confused by His ways; times when His presences seems faraway... but i cling on to romans 8:28. God will always know what He's doing, and all i have to do is put my trust in Him. He will come through for me... for others too.. not in our timing, but in His own perfect timing..."

i can take the rain
on the roof of this empty house
that don't bother me
i can take a few tears now and then
and jus let them out
im not afraid to cry every once in a while
even though going on
with you gone still upset me
there are days every now and again
i pretend i'm ok
but that's not what gets me

it's hard to deal with the pain of losing you
everywhere i go, but i'm doing it
it's harder for a sad smile
when i see our old friends and i'm alone
still harder - getting up, getting dressed
dealing with this regret
but i know if i could do it over
i would trade, give away
all the words that i say
in my heart that i left unspoken

what hurts the most
was being so close
and having so much to say
and watching you walk away
and never knowing what could've been
and not seeing that loving you
is what i was trying to do

2005-10-22T11:01:00.000+08:00

i promised kai i would blog this morning... but i really didnt noe what to talk abt, until i was organizing the mails in my inbox, and more than accidentally chanced upon the mails that i've kept for more than 5 years. reading thru them brought back lots of memories...

the time when i was still struggling to adjust to stnicks, and missing tvps like mad... the times when things go wrong at home or at school... when i jus needed someone trustworthy to pour out to... joyful times, troubling times... she was there every single time throughout those years to offer comfort, support, advice and love... it was tough to read thru them. the heart wrenching feeling that i've buried deep inside my wound surfaced all of a sudden, and brought hurtful tears to my eyes. i dun believe anybody will ever understand any of what im going thru. after all, they didn't go thru it. we all have our own unique experiences, dun we?

this is smthg i'll nvr understand - why and how did things become like this? i felt what it was like to be covered... to be understood even more than you think you understand yourself... to be loved more than you ever think anyone will be able to. but beware. the world eventually comes crashing down. jus like the tsunamis, they come with no warning, and come with a force ever so strong that you feel like you've been blown apart. but at least i gained a lesson from all these... at least i learnt smthg of myself... that i'll probably never trust anyone in the same measure ever again. even if that lesson is one full of regrets.

2005-10-09T20:53:00.000+08:00

was jus walking back home jus now and thinking about the week coming up. technically, its the last week of school already. time really flies... all of a sudden instead of struggling thru the torturous orientation days in cj and aj, i've arrived at the last week of jc. read titu's blog... and i agree with what she said. im owaes lamenting abt how jc life is so stressful lah, how aj sucks like mad lah and so on and so forth. but when it comes to the end of my jc journey, it jus suddenly feel weird. jus a few days ago i was thinking about the end of jc... and wondering if my friendship with gracie ning and titu will go on even after jc ends. i know i'll be missing the morning breakfast sessions with them of course... and the crapping and gossiping that comes with it.

suddenly shouting titu's name damn loud when mr.x comes around... observing the scandalous relationship between mr y and miss z... and of course, filling each other in with the latest juicy infomation on campus. jianing will be as usual saying "im damn tired and im going to faint now or im going to be a MUGGER from today onwards!!!"... grace will usually be the first to arrive, many thanks to da ge of course or else she'll always be the last... kaishi with her variety of ai xin breakfast each morning and occasionally she'll do her miracle shit between the first and second bell. (im still amazed at how she manages that.) and me... yes, my ham and egg sandwich and packet milo!!! oh man i'll miss morning breakfasts!!

come to think of it, no more school is actually quite sad. no more bumping into each other in school and making small talk. not sure if we'll be able to see each other as often after jc... but im sure we'll make the effort. after all, we're really the zhi ji of zhi ji's. even though our friendship is more often than not, built upon lies. (thanks to you guys!!) but what we share is something so special and precious, i noe none of us will take it lightly. how many times in one's lifetime can one actually find soulmates such as mine? im so lucky.

28 december - wait for us.

2005-10-04T22:55:00.000+08:00

now's really not the time to mope and wallow... but i really can't help but feel awfully stressed out. all of sudden it seems to me that all hope is lost. there's jus like so much work to be done, too much to be able to be completed. there seems to be too much to prepare for; too tough for me to understand or grasp... sighs im at a loss. trying my best to keep going, keep giving my best. but i feel hopeless, i really do.

2005-10-03T22:21:00.000+08:00

from the 'major slacking' mode in the previous post, to the major mugging mode now. no more slacking already! as of today, its 36 days to the official start of the big A's. so fast!!! oh man im feeling super damn stressed. like so much to study so much to prepare for and im totall not in the mugging mood. but like i got choice like that... die die also must mug right. bo pian.
but there's a worthy cause for rejoicing though. our hongkong trip is confirmed! im really going to hongkong with gracie titu and ning-er. wahahah it seems a little too unbelievable even to me. i mean, since the o's ended we already check check check... in the end also wu dong yu zhong. but this time no more talk! its action!!! wahahaha i can't believe it, we'll be spending the new year there somemore. and im fulfilling my dream of flying singapore air!! wahahah this is really a worthy cause for rejoicing. can almost imagine us four crazy girls taking photos like mad, and we don't even have to act like we're tourists, we're really gonna be tourists! oh man ocean park here we come! heh heh... i can't wait i can't wait! 86 days more! :D

but until then... its mugging studying mugging studying of course... :(

2005-09-25T23:40:00.000+08:00

major slacking this weekend. actually not only this weekend... since papers ended on wednesday, it's slack and fun after slack and fun. feels shiok, the rest and everything... spent the whole weekend researching and looking up tour packages. we're going to hongkong!!! the 'we' is not family we, its the mad girls 4 we!! yahoo man jus researching about it and looking up packages stirred up a lot of euphoria. heated phone calls with screeching girls talking about ocean park, sia and what nots. man i can't wait. we're gonna confirm everything and hopefully, book everything by the weekend. with the blessings of our parents. this is highly exciting and anticipated. can u imagine 4 mad girls gelay-ing on the streets of hongkong? then we wldnt have to pose as tourists like we tried to in chinatown. we'd REALLY be tourists alr! shop and eat and shop and eat and shop and eat...

though its back to school tmr. the start of the TRULY mad-rush. if all goes well, it'll be sch everyday till 5.15pm. not to mention, the return of the prelim papers. expect the worst and do not anticipate. sighs.

but live it. love it. hongkong!!! wahahahaha.

2005-09-21T22:35:00.000+08:00

it seems so pathetic to me that nowadays when i blog, it has to be about prelims. or a's. or schoolwork. or stress. and yah, that kind one lah. my life got nothing else!! sad!! ah ya anyway, today is different, cus prelims are over! O-V-E-R! er but yeah that liberation is not the max, its jus like a hundredth of what we'll probably feel on 21st nov after the a's are over. but at least i get to have a short break these few days. been like chionging for the past 2 weeks!? and although i dun really think my chionging will be evident in the prelims results... at least i got chiong la ok. think the prelims results will be siao one... sighs, but at least can console myself its not the a's yet.
until then... its a different type of chiong these few days! went to the gym with jan today, then met the class pple @ chomp chomp for dinner. stingray, kangkong, sugar cane, carrot cake, charkwayteow, satay... you name it, we ate it. tmr i've gotta clean up the mountain on my desk. man all the dropped hair lah, scrape paper lah, pens lah pencils lah... oh man my table is DISUGSTING now. friday is karaoke day with the gals!!! wahahahha i can't wait man. it's been SO long since we went out and had a good sing. but the downside is its in chinatown. ugh i dun like chinatown its so far and out of the way!!!
i jus realized that im jus rambling on and on and on and on and on and on. hahahhahahah post-prelim syndrome. :)

2005-09-19T20:31:00.000+08:00

don't know what you do to me but
everytime im with you its a natural high
it's like re-discovering eden
with chocolate-coated rainbows and cotton candy skies
and everytime you look my way
i wish i had the guts to say

there's something in your eyes
something in your smile
something in the way you move me
you make me want to sing
make me want to dance
make me want to cry
i'm falling in love with you

i think i'll hire cupid
he'll make you see im more than your friend
you'll be tossing and turning
counting the hours till you see me again
and when we meet you'll kiss my hand
and say the words i've longed to hear

there's something in your eyes
something in your smile
something in the way you move me
you make me want to sing
make me want to dance
make me want to cry
i'm falling in love with you

re-discovered corrinne-may today.

2005-09-01T13:34:00.000+08:00

the onslaught begins tmr.

2005-08-21T22:57:00.000+08:00

you and me
we used to be together
everyday together, always
i really feel
that im losing my best friend
i can't believe this could be the end
it looks as though you're letting go
if it's real well i don't want to know

our memories
they can be inviting
but some are altogether
mighty frightening
as we die, both you and i
with my head in my hands
i sit and cry

don't speak
i know jus what you're saying
so pls stop explaining
don't tell me cus it hurts
don't speak
i know what you're thinking
and i dun need your reasons
dunt tell me cus it hurts
it's all ending
we gotta stop pretending
who we are

you and me...
i can see us dying
... are we?

my sentiments exactly.

2005-08-19T21:53:00.000+08:00

friday. finally. how many would actually understand the 'wear and tear' that one has to go thru jus to reach this day -- friday. tgif, thank god it's friday. but jus as each friday approaches, it also signals the impending prelims and a's. it seems as though it was jus yesterday that i completed the o's. before i know it, the a's are here. fast, so fast... time passes so fast. tgif, i jus wan to tgif.

2005-08-09T22:12:00.000+08:00

it's been so long since i posted an entry, therefore much has occurred within the period. little things here and there... most of which isn't really worth mentioning. or should i say, most of which i feel too lazy to blog abt. can't really blame me either, cus have been spending the majority of my time on the church funfair. didn't expect it to zap up so much of my time, energy or effort, seriously. i thought it'd jus be a one-day thing... but well it turns out that it required much more than that. surprisingly i was quite enthusiastic about helping out... maybe partly cus kenneth's the one in charge and i dun wan to be one of those to play him out. and the other part... well for once in a very long time i felt involved in a youth or church activity. that feeling i owaes have when i give my all into something that matters to me. and pertaining to church, well it's been a long time coming. but i did give my all this time, and i'm glad things turned out pretty fine.

yes, there are frustrations and there always will be. but this time i jus keep telling myself -- at least i know who i can trust from now on. you noe this is one reason why i love to work alone. i can owaes count on myself to complete to task something that is important and necessary to me. my human nature is jus so that i cannot simply chuck things one side, or do a slip-shod job. its a hard nature to deal with sometimes, i know. but that's jus the way it is. if you can't hold yourself responsible to something, pls then dun work with me on stuff like this. it jus irritates the hell outta me when pple jus play you out. if you wanna do something, then jolly well make the best out of it. sometimes you jus gotta act maturely you noe. sighs. well yeah, at least i know who i can trust and who i can't from now on.

this period's been a bunch of disappointments, come to think of it. stuff that's really jus heart-wrenching. my life is in a rut now -- a complete rut. relationship problems... stress over studies... and stuff like that... bits jus eating me up bit by bit. but i can't afford to allow anything to clutter my mind now. other than studying and making the best out of my studies... nothing really is going to matter. nothing CAN matter -- i wouldn't let it.

i will survive, i will survive.
*bites lip and walks on.*

2005-06-28T18:43:00.000+08:00

one of the hardest things to accept is that life, as we know, it does not go on.

relationships are often difficult to establish and maintain. and on rare, wonderful occasions, some just fall into place so easily and run so smoothly from both ends.

losing one we're close to, feels unfair and so sad. those we just fell in love with from the start, that were there for us whatever our circumstances; whatever our pain; no matter how we lost our humour, those we could wrap our arms around and receive comfort from -- we find it impossible to release them, even to death.

once we relax in knowing they are there, will never reject us; will always return our love and affection, how is it possible to plan a future without them?

how can the memories be enough when our hearts seem so slow, yet pound so loudly in our throats; when our joy is crushed; when our eyes cloud and will never view things the same again?

how should we behave then? why should we just walk back into life as though nothing ever happened? how can we ever be expected to smile again? how can we let go? amazingly enough, long before we were conceived, long before we participated in this whirlwind called life, God had a plan -- a perfect plan.

He foresaw the need for this life to have a beginning as well as an end. He created and thoroughly understood the complexities of relating to others. He gave us the ability to love and draw close. He knew the path our lives would take and how deeply we would feel pain. He left nothing out.

He built within us the abilities to grieve without dying; to let go without forgetting; to cope without quitting; to continue to love those who have moved on, yet grow to love others more strongly and even to add new love to our hearts.

He even gave us time...
time to grieve,
time to heal,
and time to grow from our new understanding.

beyond our awesome creation, he knows exactly when we suffer loss and how hard it is for us. We are among those He jus fell in love with from the start, He is there for us no matter what our circumstances or pain, no matter how we've lost our humour. He wants to wrap us in His arms and receive comfort from Him. We can relax in knowing He has always been there, will never reject us, will always return our love and affection and will help us plan our future.

we should not walk the same roads over again. He devised that when our eyes have been clouded by tears we should never view things the same way again. we could grow bitter from sadness, or we could grow and learn compassion. we should never behave as though nothing ever happened. we should fondly rememebr that knowing and then missing someone has changed us completely, and that we were blessed with the company of angels while they were here.

this amazingly perfect plan that God has, of which He mapped our every possible outcome, leads us back into His very capable and loving arms always.

it's not that He wants us to suffer, not that He wants us to cry, not that He wants us to lose those we love dearly. God jus wants us to remember that while we were happily on our journey with our loved one, He was happy too. He leads us to know that after losing our loved one, when we return to life more lonely, He steps up closer to us and not only understands our loneliness, but also helps us hold our head up.

when emptiness invades your sleep, He offers what no other friend can -- serenity as deep as the emptiness and hope as promising as the sunrise.

He is the one friend that cannot and will not die, and will never leave our side.

God's boxes of love
i have in my hands two boxes
which God gave me to hold
He said, "put all your sorrows in the black,
and all your joys in the gold"

i heeded His words, and in the two boxes
both my joys and sorrows i stored
but though the gold became heavier each day
the black was as light as before

with curiosity, i opened the black
i wanted to find out why
and i saw, in the base of the box, a hole
where my sorrows had fallen out by

i showed the hole to God, and mused aloud,
"i wonder where my sorrows could be"
He smiled a gentle smile at me
"my child, they'are all here with me"

i asked, "God, why give me the boxes,
why the gold and the black with the hole?"
"my child, the gold is for you to count your blessings,
the black is for you to let go"

tears.

2005-06-25T23:35:00.000+08:00

not really in a mood for blogging. and this being 2 days away from mid years isnt really a time for blogging either. but this being such a special day, i've jus gotta blog.

*happy birthday titu!*

man... xie kaishi you jus dunno what your presence in my life means to me. although sometimes ur cramps and mood swings can really bug me and vex the hell out of me (lol!), you add more joy to my life that you can ever imagine. its unimaginable to me how you're jus able to lift the spirits in any situation and make everybody laugh their sides out.

jus one sentence rings in my heart right now -- you add more joy to my life that you can ever imagine.

jus one sentiment im feeling right now -- im so, so glad i have you in my life.

and jus one thing i wanna tell ya -- i love ya!

the past 5 years 6 months and 25 days have been so amazing its unthinkable. here's to the next 5 years, 15 years and 50 years. until our next chapter...

2005-06-05T23:10:00.000+08:00

had the sleepover of the millennium last thurs/fri. gracie, titu and ning-er came over after my history class and we jus had the best time together. we went downstairs to cinenow and rented 2 dvds first... i reluctantly had to watch the eye10 becus huang tai hou wanted to watch. but turned out it wasn't that bad and i apparently turned out to be pretty brave! then we watched mybrother. well it was pretty boring in some bits but then toward the end it was so damn sad!! cows can the koreans STOP making movies out of tragedies? all the korean shows sure got people die one lah! well anyway taihou and g have named our sleepover the sinful camp because we pigged out like mad. chips, drinks, food, cakes, you name it... well, we ate it.

and to jianing's great delight, we finally watched the much acclaimed zu sun qing of hers. well the quality sucks... but the show was good. but sad!! why again people die?! hao shao wen was super irritating yet cute. think we finally went to sleep around 3 plus all of us squeezing on the same bed. (*gasps!* lost my virginity!) surprisingly it was a pretty good sleep for me. woke up a few times and saw jianing's piggy face beside me. grace as usual woke up the first and auto go play gb. we went to macs for breakfast and then suddenly all very on went to kbox. didn't think we'd actually go, but yes we went. the food at kbox sucks!!! like mad!!! well at least it is confirmed that kbox toa payoh service is much much better. the sleepover was damn fun... no matter what the circumstances are... whenever im with the girls, things are jus delightful. we never fail to make jokes, do silly things and laugh like mad hyenas. oh ya we made prank calls too!! LOL. poor souls out there tormented by us in the middle of the night.

girls: it was a good get-together. thanks for making it happen and making so much fun out of it. i put my mind aside from the unhappy things and i love being with your. thanks for being there and always making joy out of nothing at all. we're a happy bunch and i hope we remain our crazy souls. 5, 10 years down the road, i still want to watch horror movies with 3 crazy gals covering their faces with cushions; squeeze on the same queensize bed with 2.5 talkative girls... (the half is grace); i wanna be dragged out from bed by grace becus she demands her macs; i wanna go dig for toothbrush for the forgetful jianing; i still wouldn't mind lugging 4 thick jackets home for all of us; i still wanna act and tape down all our made videos; i still wanna tau pok and bully jianing a.k.a our chihuahua... i'd still wanna do all the crazy things that we do years from today. i love you girls so much! lights of my life. (:

2005-05-25T22:52:00.000+08:00

trying hard to keep myself busy and buried in school work, my friends, gunbound, hyper relay... anything, anything that can jus take my mind off that. i dun wanna feel lousy, i dun wanna feel all that hurt. i'll jus bury it deep deep down and never give it a chance to surface.

and jus so you know, if i ever rebel and turn my back against the world... it'll be because of you and what you've done to me. all the pain you've inflicted onto my life, all the wrongs that will never be able to be undone. i wan everything to be fine and i wan everything to be sweet. but im thinking it might never be possible anymore.

so if my back is turned... it's becus of you.
if i turn to being a junkie... it's becus of you.
if i lose my conscience and murder... it's becus of you.
if i give up all that i've come to build up over the years and flush it down the drain... it's becus of you.
if i throw in the towel and dun wanna try anymore... it's becus of you.
you and all the damage you've done.
thanks.

2005-05-24T18:22:00.000+08:00

it's a long, long journey
till i know where i'm supposed to be
it's a long, long journey
and i don't know if i can believe
when shadows fall and block my eyes
i am lost and know that i must hide
it's a long, long journey
till i find my way home to You

many days i've spent
drifting on thru empty shores
wondering what's my purpose
wondering how to make me strong
i know i will falter, i know i will cry
i know You'll be standing by my side
it's a long, long journey
and i need to be close to You

~~sometimes~~ it feels no one understands
i don't even know why i do the things i do
when pride builds me up till i can't see my soul
will You break down these walls and pull me through?

cause it's a long, long journey
till i feel that i am worth the price
You paid for me on Calvary
beneath those stormy skies
when Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
it feels like everything is out to make me lose control
cause it's a long, long journey
till i find my way home to You
to You

ouch. my heart hurts so much. it hurts like hell.
i love you so, so much. but i hate you for what you're doing to my heart.

2005-05-11T17:45:00.000+08:00

gee. i jus got home from the isas lecture by pakistan pm, and whilst i was opening the gate to my humble abode, i was jus thinking... "what is this deep deep burden that i feel in my heart?" you noe what it's been like there the whole day today, and i guess for the past few days as well. i jus sat down drinking water and i suddenly realized wat it was. im tired. that's it, im really tired. physically, that is.

totally freaked out yesterday when shuling commented that i had eyebags. i mean, its like i knew all along that i probably wasnt getting as much sleep as i need to, but it's never really gotten to the extent of my eyebags actually being visible! ya and subsequently after that i was quite obsessed with my eyebags. but it's not as if im tired and i sleep in class. i still make sure i put those imaginery toothpicks between my eyelids when the bell rings for lecture, and i still make sure i keep on talking during tutorials so i still do participate. but i guess inside, i really am tired.

but it's not as if i can help it. mondays are the worst, after homework clinic and i reach home sometimes as late as 1030. 16 whole hours spent out of home, can u imagine that? and none of slacking! it really is rare to see the sun from my study window nowadays (something i consider a luxury now). well im almost there... im halfway thru, and i deem myself to be considerably consistent all the while. i'll jus hang on till the very end, and pull thru by God's grace.

mr choy! oh gosh he's my substitute econs teacher, a.k.a SOS!!!! oh gosh i assure you he's speaking at a speed of 10km/h (or even slower!) well at least i have a sub teacher... poor mrs low. wonder how she is now. but i hope she comes back soon... i miss her and i need her to start lecturing!!! im suffering under the clutches of 'miss-nemo-who-ok's-5-times-in-a-sentence-ng" every econs lect. and i can't imagine another tutorial with mr choy. dialing sos~

2005-05-02T00:00:00.000+08:00

24.
that's how many hours this day lasted.
22.
that's how many birthday sms-es i received.
6.
that's how many birthday cards i got.
4.
that's how many birthday cakes i blew out.
7.
that's how many online birthday msges i got.
7.
that's how many lovely birthday gifts i received.
18.
and that's how old i turned today.

birthdays past by fast, don't they? mine seemed to have went past in a flash. 24 hours, 60 mins each hour. sounds quite long, but in reality it really goes by in a whiz. well though the past few days before this have been unthinkable and torturous... this birthday turned out quite fine. these few days have been huge pig-out sessions, eating eating eating and slacking slacking slacking. well i guess it's good to take a breather now and then, so people will at least stop saying that im paranoid. hahah. you noe thru all those things that i wrote about, those numbers and everything, one thing that came thru means the most. it's probably the smallest and most insignificant physically, but well it meant one of the most. shan't discuss it here, but i jus wan to thank God for being the one who started all these. for bearing a plan for me 18 years ago, starting the good work in me, and of course the future where He will bring it to completion. though im not perfect and most unworthy of all the love and mercy You've poured out on me, You remain faithful to me all these years and the years i have ahead of me. thank you so much Lord. here's to the start of my 18th year. may i strive to walk closer and closer to the Almighty One, become more and more like him. cheers.

2005-05-01T00:00:00.000+08:00

well as usual, wanna blog on the dot on my birthday. eighteen. finally. seems like being 18 is one of the birthdays that i waited the longest for. im partially legal! i can go apply for the long-awaited drive licence already!

well thought that at this point of time i'd be feeling incredibly high, feeling all that euphoria and joy within my heart. but suprisingly, no. it jus feels like another day to me. really. maybe its the things that's happened in the past few days that took away the 'birthday mood', if there even if such a thing. i noe there are people who care a lot about me, and will be there to congratulate and celebrate with me. but somehow this birthday jus feels a little empty... too empty. well physically there is of course a significant difference. i can now purchase m-18 tickets righteously, purchase liquor and cigarettes rightfully... but of course those aren't really the things that i want or will do. and of course, there's the drive licence, the greatest incentive, in my opinion, of turning 18.

had my first birthday cake of 2005 @ auntie sheela's place during the gathering. sis bought it (thanks!)... cookies n cream cheesecake from sweet secrets, my favourite cake place. watched part of congo that night. kumar's right, i sounded as if i was a little kid that's never watched tv before. i truly was intrigued by the movie. haha... guess it's cause never really relax and watch tv for quite some time already. then watched constantine. initially thought i'd be freaked out by the content, but i ended up trying to understand the movie more than anything else. until now, i still dun understand it.

well thanks guys for celebrating my birthday cake with me. kumar for blurting out that there was a cake that night. kenneth for "shhh-ing" him. uncle steven for the sony pen and hinting to me that there's "something" for me. auntie sheela for the great hospitality and food. amy for the great company and smiles. auntie eunice for watching tv with me. sarah for helping me keep my 'secret'. joshua for the nice new haircut. michelle for telling me about your job so far. and of course, sis for everything else. sorry about that awful chapter, but thanks for everything else.

star light, star bright
first star i see tonight
wish i may, wish i might
have the wish i wish tonight...

2005-04-27T22:39:00.000+08:00

obstacles don't have to stop you.
if you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up.
figure out how to climb it,
go through it, or work around it.
-michael jordan

talk about a rough day man. had the worst day ever. my world started to crash ever since the first period of the day. well seeing ~~that person~~ early in the morning can't really count since i have to face ~~that person~~ as long as im in school. then had to discover that i failed my math common test yet again. when am i going to finally pass?? i feel so sick of myself. why is it that i jus can't seem to get math right? and the worst thing is i was told to 'buck up, when the fact is i don't feel that im slacking. in fact, i think im working reasonably hard! and its not like i totally didnt study at all for this test. i dunno lah. all the people around me passed and passed well... and im still stuck with a single digit. i chose math in jc simply cause i wanted to get it right.

why can't i??? feeling very, very, lousy.
and everything just didnt seem to go well the rest of the day. when i was sitting in the library with the girls in class i almost cried. but well i didnt want to, so i held it back. the last thing i wan is to let something break my back and start wallowing all over again. now im totally worn out because of guitar class that lasted 2.5 hours. fingers are numb from playing, and my eyes can barely open. yet i still have a pile of work waiting for me to clear. it just all seems like a vicious cycle. and im no longer sure of getting myself into a local uni. i jus feel so incapable now.

oh ya, and i shouted at ~~that person~~ today. not really yelled at ~~that person~~, but i jus couldnt sit by and watch ~~that person~~ degrade another person. you noe, it's one thing if you wanna boost ur own ego and feel good about yourself. i totally understand how some people are just full of themselves. but mind you, don't kill someone's pride while doing that! totally disgusted and grossed out by ~~that person~~'s behaviour and attitude. some people jus think that they're the best in everything. DISGUSTING.

how am i going to get by? the days to my birthday are drawing closer and closer, and i just seem to become more downcast by the day. is this year's birthday really going to be a living disaster?

2005-04-26T22:06:00.000+08:00

wednesday
1. math permutation/combination ca
2. tuition with yeejing
3. guitar class

thursday
1. pe + sports day (crap!)

friday
1. aj idol finals
2. steamboat/movie marathon @ aunt sheela's

saturday
1. rest (:)... bliss.)
2. go to grandma's house @ shunfu

sunday (a.k.a ????!)
1. church service
2. dinner with cousins @ fish&co

what an exciting week huh. :)

2005-04-25T22:43:00.000+08:00

seems like the longest time since i could come home and actually have a breather instead of pia-ing homework. all thanks to my 3 days of ultimate muggness over the past weekend. im totally worn out and im pretty sure i screwed up the econs test today. i mean it's like not only was extract 1 and extract 2 like contradictory... extract 1 itself also like contradictory! got so confused while doing it i just sorta started to blank out gradually. and in making sure that my marker has legible and pleasant handwriting to read... well i jus didn't have enough time lahh. ughs. pretty pissed cause i spent the whole of the weekend mugging but i STILL don't have time to study for the test and im STILL going to screw it up. poor mrs low - i wish you all the best in marking my script.

im so glad that the long weekend is coming right up. though before that i do have to get thru the draggy AFTERNOON sports day... and then haha laugh it off during aj idol on friday. although i do have to go thru the agony of watching the reason. blech! ah i jus yakking crap right now. because i have a lot of things on my mind and i can't sort it out! :(

2005-04-20T15:22:00.000+08:00

i like the way you wanted me
every night for so long
i like the way you needed me
every time things got rocky
i was believing in you
was I mistaken do you say
do you say what you mean
i want our love to last forever

i like the way you'd hold me
every night for so long
and i like the way you'd say my name
in the middle of the night
while you were sleeping
i was believing in you
was I mistaken
do you mean, do you mean what you say
when you say our love could last forever

you would run around and lead me on forever
while I wait at home thinking that we're together
i wanted our love to last forever

well I'd rather you be mean, than love and lie
i'd rather hear the truth and have to say goodbye
i'd rather take a blow - at least then i would know
but baby don't you break my heart slow

i wonder. i wonder if the supposedly important 18th birthday will turn out awry and unbearble every second of it. but still... i'd rather have the truth than go thru the pain when lies are revealed.