Monday, February 28, 2005

im held by Your love
im held by Your strength
on Your shoulders You bore me
by Your faith I stand
cherished by You, Lord
treasured in Your sight
so close to Your heart
held firm in Your hands

so awesome is Your love
so mighty is Your hands
on eagles' wings, You carry me
Your grace shall be my strength
so perfect is Your love
You sacrificed Your son
amazing love, reached out to me
with joy to You i come

not by my wisdom
not by my strength
gently You guide me
You lead me by hand
total surrender
Jesus I am Yours
now and forever
in Christ I now stand

so awesome is Your love
so mighty is Your hands
on eagles' wings, You carry me
Your grace shall be my strength
so perfect is Your love
You sacrificed Your son
amazing love, reached out to me
with joy to You i come

8:33 pm
mayhemisphere;
........

totally screwed up math. and im sure econs too. feel so screwed and totally pissed with myself. i didn't even dare put my question one on top of all of my scripts cus it was so super empty. i dunno how am i going to face chinkah... or jing. and mrs low seemed so disappointed with us. im sure she is with me. even i know it myself that i can produce much better than that piece of shit if i had put more effort into my revision and studying. i don't know what's up with me too. these 2 weeks, i've jus been zoning out. i may seem ok on the outside and around school and stuff, but i noe inside im not. even had problem falling asleep last nite. was feeling so frustrated because i had spent more than 2 hours in bed jus trying to get some rest. it didnt help that i had intended to get up early to study my math. got less than 2 hours of rest last night. but thank God, i wasn't too bad in the day. hope i can sleep well tonight. didn't talk to anyone about what's happening, dun think anyone will understand anyway. i'll need time and lots of God to get over this... but God's promised that i will see the light out of this. and i know that he knows all that i'm going thru. he really didn't need to say much. jus had to let me know that he's here and he knows. that's enough.

7:39 pm
mayhemisphere;
........
Thursday, February 24, 2005

seems like forever since i've been home before dark on a school day. actually technically today im supposed to stay till late too, but i've got tuition later, so can't. well anyway its been quite long since the last time i actually posted anything in blogger... but i've been really busy and tired. however, i still give all that i can and try my best to be good and ready for school. (why do i get the feeling that im blogging like im writing an essay) anyway... i had my first pe today since my injury. dunno if its because i so long neva pe, or it was plain hiong today... but i think it's the latter. effectively we did circuit training + run 5 rounds for 1.5hours. i'll tell ya, mrs jennifer toh is not out of this world, she's just out of her mind. lol really its mad one her morning pe. but also good, cus after pe i feel shiok and fit. (: but it was so burning-sweltering-blistering-searing-scorching-humid-HOT lahh! cannot stand it liao! oh monsoon, monsoon, where fore art thou monsoon? and that would make the "rain, rain, go away" song number 1 on the hate list right now. lol, hilarious huhh.

cts are almost over, jus left with math right now. im so looking forward to the march "hols". and yes, the hols are kept in inverted commas because technically for year2 students, there are no hols to speak about. only little breaks in between where one would still be required to work and slog like mad. but i can't believe that the time is passing so quickly. 2 months are almost over... jus a few more before major exam no.1 comes along, and a little while more before terror exam pops right up at ur front door. it's hard to believe that soon i'll be 18; hard to believe that soon i'll be in university. don't feel one bit like a soon-to-be adult.

well lots of stuff's occurred since the last post... vday, family day, and some other disappointing and bothering occurrences. but i shan't talk about them... some are just not worth my effort while others are just plain private.

3:47 pm
mayhemisphere;
........
Friday, February 11, 2005

they can say anything they want to say
try to bring me down but i will not allow
anyone to succeed hanging clouds over me
and they can try hard to make me feel that i
don't matter at all but i refuse to falter
in what i believe or lose faith in my dreams

cause there's a Light in me that shines brightly
they can try
but they can't take that away from me

they can do anything they want to you
if you let them in but they wouldn't ever win
if you cling to your pride and just push them aside
i have learnt there's an inner peace i own
something in my soul
that they cannot possess
so i wouldn't be afraid and the darkness will fade

cause there's a Light in me that shines brightly
they can try
but they can't take that away from me

no they can't take this precious Love
i'll always have inside me
certainly the Lord will guide me
where i need to go
oh they can say anything they want to say
try to bring me down but i wouldn't face the ground
i will rise steadily
sailing out of their reach

oh Lord they do try
hard to make me feel that i
don't matter at all
but i refuse to falter in what i believe
or lose faith in my dreams
cause there's a Light in me
that shines brightly
yes they can try
but they can't take that away from me

1:09 am
mayhemisphere;
........
Thursday, February 10, 2005

the cny ~~break~~ went by in a whizz. all three nights i chose to stay home; all three days i chose to stick to my principles. and expectedly, invited the ridicule and mockery of my friends and family members. well we have different priorities and make different choices. i've made my choice, and i pledge to keep to it. im not about to allow myself walk down that road again. im blessed enough to be saved at the very last minute and im not about to take my chances again. i will not take the mercy of God for granted. well i'll just focus on God lahh. it really doesn't matter that much what others perceive... its alright even if they misunderstand me. i'll reap what i sow in due time. what i sow will bear fruit in due time.
well it's back to the huzz and buzz of aj. it's a bummer... especially with the looming common tests on monday. oh well, i'll get by... i'll get by with the grace of God. (:

11:45 pm
mayhemisphere;
........