Sunday, October 31, 2004

hmns... really been a while since i blogged. well maybe that's because i've been really busy with the campaign stuff. lotsa things have happened... and we're really edging closer and closer to the launch and beginning of the campaign. nxt week will be the simulcast launch already, and i can't wait!! jus last friday i was in church together with people like shar, amy, john, kumar, uncle albert auntie sheela, uncle steven, auntie serene and pastor ruth... we were getting the sanctuary ready, putting up the decorations and stuff. stayed all through the night, next morning then i went home. sure i was tired, but hey... going about getting the place ready, doing the preparation, it really gets me so excited. seeing all of us united doing things together... felt really good. and anyway got kumar send me home wad, so nvm, haha! i really can't wait for the campaign to start... its gonna be a revolutionary, life-changing turning point for so many people, and its my prayer that it'll change my life forever too. i jus wish that i will be able to bring more of my friends and family... i don't want to regret at the end of the campaign for not bringing them. purpose driven.

10:17 pm
mayhemisphere;
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Friday, October 22, 2004

why should i feel discouraged?
why should the shadows come?
why should my heart feel lonely?
and long for heaven and home?
when Jesus is my portion
a constant friend is He
His eye is on the sparrow
and i noe He watches over me

God, i feel like giving up. and im appalled at myself, how i actually gave this thought some serious thinking today. i mean, it's not the first time i actually thought of this, but today... i really gave it some serious thought. but God, for now, i noe that this is not Your will for me. you put me in Bethany for a reason, and it was by no chance anything of coincidence. it's really tough, Lord... but Lord i'll hang on for as long as i can. keep trying for as many times as i have to. i don't know how to explain it, but although it's really tough, i can't explain why i love this God that i have never seen. i can't explain why im so enthralled and i jus wan to keep loving him and finding Him -- until i find Him. im jus gonna keep trying until God resides in my heart and is my whole being and the essence of my breath of life. because i will not offer to my Lord what costs me nothing.

1:12 am
mayhemisphere;
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Tuesday, October 12, 2004

what a day.

a plant may be surrounded by the best conditions for germination; good weather, sufficient irrigation, fertile soil and the top grade fertilizer, but if there lie no roots below all that good conditions, it jus will not last. it needs roots, deep roots to hold it firm to the ground it is planted on, to prosper and to bear fruit. i cant last if im not rooted either. and that foundation can only be God's word. u noe sometimes i really jus noe how to tok. i tok but i dun walk my talk. how many times haf i came back to square one already only to walk around the square? i get so impatient and upset with myself i cant begin to imagine how God bears with me. but that's jus how gracious He is. oh God help me be in correct alignment with You, grant me the grace to remain walking on the path that's been set out for me. i don't want to stray, i don't want to depart from You. God be patient with me even as I try. remind me to look at mylife and declare that im a "on my way", not a "no way". saplinghood is merely a phase in my maturity process, but i will not let it remain the only process. i will grow in saplinghood, through saplinghood, and onto maturity. i need You, God, in every part of this. every single part.

11:51 pm
mayhemisphere;
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day14:God is real, no matter how i feel

they're right. it is easier to worship God when things are going great; but then it wouldnt count as a sacrifice of praise already, would it? "...the deepest level of worship is praising God in spite of pain, thanking God during a trial, trusting him when tempted, surrendering while suffering, and loving him when he seems distant..." the deepest kind... the hardest too i guess. but i can rest assured that God matures my relationship with him through these periods of trials. they're painful, and often disheartening... but essential for the development and maturity of my faith. jus like wad the utmost book said yesterday... "God will give you the very blessing you ask if you refuse to any further without them...but His silence is the sign that He is bringing you to an even more wonderful understanding of Himself..." and i will praise God through times of trouble and tribulation, because He will give me an even bigger revelation of Himself, into the essence of His purpose for my life. i will focus on who God is -- his unchanging nature, because nothing can change what God is. His never changing nature that promises "I will never leave you nor forsake you."

Jesus gave up everything so you could have everything. He died so you could live forever. That alone is worthy of your continual thanks and praise. Never again should you wonder what you have to be thankful for.

10:50 am
mayhemisphere;
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Tuesday, October 05, 2004

day07:it's all for him

the goal of the universe; the reason anything exists for; the meaning behind everything --> his glory. everything and anything in this world was made to display the glory of God, the true essence of God's nature. we are made to recognize him glory, honor it, declare it, praise it, reflect and live for it. creation glorifies its creator when it fulfils what it was made for. worship. fellowship. discipleship. ministry. evangelism. these are the 5 purposes man was made for... the 5 things man has to fulfil to bring glory to God. and i will live the rest of my life striving to fulfil these purposes, leading a lifestyle filled with worship; a life full of love for others; a life that strives to become more like Christ each day; a life that lives to serve; and a life that lives to share the love i've found. because there's no other thing more important and great than the great God i've found. it's all for him. everything comes from God alone. everything lives by his power and everything is for his glory.

1:40 am
mayhemisphere;
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Sunday, October 03, 2004

the student's prayer

the Lord is my shepherd, i shall not flunk;
He keepeth me from lying down when i should be studying,
He leadth me beside the water cooler for a study break,
He restores my faith in study guides;
He leads me to better study habits
for my grades' sake.
even though i walk through the valley of borderline grades,
i will not have a nervous breakdown;
for Thou art with me;
my prayers and my friends, they comfort me;
Thou givest me answers in moments of blankness;
Thou anointest my head with understanding.
my test paper runneth over with questions i recognize.
surely passing grades and flying colours shall follow me
all the days of examinations.
and i shall not have to dwell in this school
forever!
amen!

3:16 pm
mayhemisphere;
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day06:i am here on earth for just a little while

life is a test, a trust, and a temporary assignment. life on earth is extremely brief and short-lived, and earth is but a temporary residence. my citizenship is in heaven, my identity in eternity and my homeland in heaven. therefore i cannot get too attached to what's around me because it is temporary. i will not bring it into eternity and i can't either. life is not about pursuing happiness, it's about preparation for the next. this world is not my home, i'm just a passing through. i was made for something better, something much better.

3:12 pm
mayhemisphere;
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Saturday, October 02, 2004

day05:here's looking at life

wad is life to you? what is your life metaphor? the first thing that came into mind for me was a mountain. life is like trekking. sometimes you meet the tall, tall mountains, and you've got to scale them before you reach the peak. before you can see the beautiful scenaries around. but then there'd be times where you walk into the low valleys of life, and there seems to be no end. but life is actually a test and a trust and a temporary assignment. all of life is a test. God tests me constantly through my response to people, things, problems, situations, and every other thing. just like how God tested Hezekiah, He too, will leave me alone to test my character, reveal my weakness and prepare me for more responsibility. and i believe God has, and will again. since life is a test, nothing that happens is insignificant. they are character-moulders, character-changers, and character-perfectors. life, too, is a trust. everything that was ever made in this world and that which will be made, is entrusted into our hands. they don't belong to me, and therefore i mus take extra care of something that doesnt belong to me but is being used by me. and when i am trustworthy of these things that has been entrusted to me, i will be rewarded with promotion, greater responsibility, and the opportunity to share my Master's happiness. life is a test and a trust, and the more God gives, the more He expects me to be responsible about it. everything that i think, do and say will have eternal implications.

unless you are faithful in small things,
you won't be faithful in large ones.

4:56 pm
mayhemisphere;
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Friday, October 01, 2004

day04:man was made for immortality

more to life. no, not evanescence. but me. there's more to life than there is now. and the decades that im about to spend in this world is just preparation for the eternity that i'll be spending in heaven. haha the first question i ask is then why in the world am i studying like mad? but that's so not the point. this life on earth is not all there is, it's like 0.000001% of what there really is. but even so, what i do in this life determines where and how i spend the rest of eternity. therefore i must keep the value of this eternity embedded in my heart. the deeds of this life are the destiny of the next. i don't want to be the fool that goes through life unprepared for what will eventually happen. the key to opening to door to eternity is a relationship with God. God has given me, and everyone else the right to hold that key. i'll make it my choice to possess that key, make it yours too.

eternity.

4:38 pm
mayhemisphere;
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