Thursday, September 30, 2004

day03:the man without a purpose
is like a ship without a rudder;
a waif, a nothing,
a no man.

guilt. resentment. fear. need for approval. materialism. get of my life, i don't need and i don't want you to drive my life no longer. i will hang on to my dear jesus and stand tall and stride over my hurts and resentment. i will not give you any foothold in my life, and i will strive not to let any of you dictate my life. i am a product of my past, but not a prisoner of it. i am a new creation in God, and God has cleared my record. what i want now is to discover God's purpose for my life. nothing matters more than knowing God's purpose for my life, and nothing will ever compensate for not knowing it. i wan meaning to my life, i wan focus. i wan the right motivation to drive my life. i wan to drive my life towards eternity. i build the foundations of my life upon God, and i set my destination in eternity. my life will be filled with His plans, the hope and prosperous future that comes from Him.

You, Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you.
isaiah 26:3

2:34 pm
mayhemisphere;
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Wednesday, September 29, 2004

:( help, Lord. promos are really near and i cant depend on myself. help me depend on You. perfect Your strength in my weakness and let me stand tall.

10:05 pm
mayhemisphere;
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day02:i am your Creator.
you were in my care even before you were born
isaiah44:2a

im no accident. everything in my life, everything about me was designated and planned by my Creator. im alive because my God wanted me to be, he willed that i be alive this day. nothing in my life is arbitrary. im no mistake cus God makes no mistakes. He created me so that He could express His love to me, He created me to love me -- to make me the focus of his affection. wow, huh? i should really stop feeling so unloved all the time. because He really does love me. everything in my world would cease to be if God didn't love me. i wouldn't be in this world today if God didnt love me. God decided to give us life through the word of truth so we might be the most important of all the things he made. my life has meaning. my life has purpose. i bear the Master's seal

i can see the fingerprints of God
when i look at you
i can see the fingerprints of God
and i know it's true
you're a masterpiece that
all creation quietly applauds
and you're covered with the fingerprints of God...

1:57 pm
mayhemisphere;
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Tuesday, September 28, 2004

day01:everything got started in Him
and finds its purpose in Him.

it's not about me. this life is not about me, nothing in the world is mine nor about me. because everything got started in him -- everything was made by Him and for Him. its funny how i've always dreamt and imagined what i'd be like 10, 20 years down the road. thriving in my career? driving my dream lexus es300? still heeheehaha-ing with my crazy gals? it jus neva dawned on me before that my life is not about whether i achieve all of that. i jus assumed this life was mine to lead, mine to do whatever i wan to do, achieve all that i wan to possess. i've owaes focused on myself, even after going back to church. this life is not my own, and no wonder i neva ever discovered my purpose in life. i neva focused on my Creator and His purpose for my life. rick warren said this, "you could reach all your personal goals, becoming a raving success by the world's standard, and still miss the purposes for which God created you." then God, could i do all the things i wanna do, and still fulfil Your purposes, pretty pls? hahaha... im jus kidding. i now know better than do insist that i have it done my way... cus it's owaes failed. Lord have Your way, let Your will be done in my life. God you are the source of my life, the very essence of my being, and the air that i breathe. without You life makes no sense, no sense at all. help me walk out of the darkness and into the light. i wan to discover my purpose.

the Lord will fulfil his purpose for me
psalms 138:8

10:29 pm
mayhemisphere;
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Monday, September 27, 2004

*yawns*. i officially declare the start of no-sleep week. well not so much of no-sleep...but really jus lots of plain hard work. countdown from 7 officially starts. though the promos last only 5 days, it's gonna be a very tough 5 days. but hey... His strength is made perfect in my weakness, eh? jus gotta learn to as much as i can, depend on God, call on God... no matter how bad things are, they're never too tough for God. (: i can't wait to be done with the exams, and get straight to focusing on the 40 days of purpose campaign. but until then, i've gotta worship God with my studies. (:

11:34 pm
mayhemisphere;
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Saturday, September 18, 2004

wheee! friday nite went town with sis... wahh. like its been ages since i went downtown man. actually didnt intend to go one... sis jus wanted to haf dinner, so i thought ok lets go to s'goon gardens and eat. but haha we ended up at lips cafe in cine. the calamari was sedap as usual! and the best thing of friday nite was dat sis paid! she paid for the dinner... she bought me a pencil case... bought me a pouch... wahh! shiok man! if like this every friday wan to go out with her liao! haha no lahh... but i had fun lah. thank u!
ya and oh i bought something for titu!! haha i will not put what i bought for her down now... cus she cannot noe wad it is. but i hope she will like it... cus after i buy im penniless le!! *frowns* but i hope it cheers her up. wahahah! tmr got match... sia la, dunno will get thrashed not. wahahah. ok anyway wish me luck! gd nite!

11:52 pm
mayhemisphere;
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Sunday, September 12, 2004

turn your eyes upon Jesus...
look full in His wonderful face
and the things of the earth
will grow strangely dim
in the light of His glory and grace

i will meditate upon this song for as long as i need to now... need to remind myself to focus on God and magnify Him. as He becomes bigger in my life, my problems will shrink and grow strangely dim in comparison to His magnificence. i need more of God in my life... more of His holiness and greatness, less of my earthly problems. be enlarged, God. be magnified, and arise Lord, in my life and my situations...

11:31 pm
mayhemisphere;
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Tuesday, September 07, 2004

so, finally got down to doing some work today. but still have loads to complete. but oh well, a little done means less to complete. gambate nehh! *positive attitude*
stuff i did today
1. math tutorial 16 Q1-5
2. gp prep summary re-do
3. gp prep aq re-do
4. gp prep essay on marriage
5. gp essay on technology

tmr's another day! i can handle it cus i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!! yahoo!

11:18 pm
mayhemisphere;
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Sunday, September 05, 2004

i love the light for it shows me the way,
but i'll endure the darkness... if it's what God wants for me.

*tears* only God knows what im going through now... only He knows my tears.

10:40 pm
mayhemisphere;
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Wednesday, September 01, 2004

nuts day for me. woke up in the morning, didnt haf breakfast, jus ate some peanuts while i did my history tutorials and waiting for yijing to come. then at kbox i ate the kbox nuts again... then jus now at auntie lilian's funeral wake, i again ate the peanuts. wad the? nuts nuts nuts.
well anyway... had tuition before i went to kbox. sighs... yijing seems so pissed with me nowadays. im jus so lousy lahh. sometimes the simplest things in front of my own eyes i oso cant see it, no wonder she gets so angry. wished i could do better in my math tests, so she wldnt be so uptight over my results. mus work harder, mus work harder!! i cannot let her down!!
met ong, gracie and hock at kbox... yanxi dua-ed us. lol... but we had a good time. it's a good break for me, and it helps that mummy is paying for this kbox outing. so sweet of her. suddenly asked me whether i wan money to go kbox. haha, she say i "a bit the guai guai type" and "reward me for so long bored at home studying".. wahahah! feel so good yeah. wanted to seize the opportunity and ask her for mp3 player one... but dun go overboard lah huh? yes i wan to buy it with my own savings. well anyway we had a great time at kbox... hock dun say ur singing sucks to the max! at least u dare to sing k! jia you! stupid grace keep biting me when i singing, make me squeal for no reason.
then headed over to mt vernon for auntie lilian's wake. i didnt think much of it... but when i got there and the service started, i jus started tearing. its jus me... i've never handled death well. but its like... yarr i dun noe auntie lilian personally, but she's so nice and sweet!! its all jus so sudden. life indeed is unpredictable, but i guess we should all take comfort in the fact that she's with the Lord now.
quite an eventful teachers' day for me i guess.

10:31 pm
mayhemisphere;
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