Wednesday, August 25, 2004


aj had a blood donation drive today... gosh that blood droplet mascot is hilarious! so round and clumsy looking, see already feel like giving it a few punches. but anyway... i didnt go... and i shall exercise my history essay-writing skills here a bit. several reasons account for why i didnt go for the blood donation drive, namely -- 1) as usual, neva listen to announcement, didnt noe where to get the consent form; 2) didnt think i'd get thru cus i still haf a lil of the flu bug; and 3) didnt think much of it. well... saw jansen and titu go today... so exciting... but i couldnt last min go for it cus i needed parents consent. so wadeva lahh... go home lorr. jus got home, and can see a big storm brewing out of my study room window. its a great time to sleep, so i think i'll go catch a nap before jing comes later for tuition. so terribly sleepy. *yawn*

4:04 pm
mayhemisphere;
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Tuesday, August 24, 2004




11:43 pm
mayhemisphere;
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Sunday, August 22, 2004



9:30 pm
mayhemisphere;
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its been a rough weekend. and i wished my eyes were upon You. i wished they were on You all the time, and i wished i didnt hand my heart and feelings over to men. each time i have to make a decision, i noe things wld be right if i solely depended on You. but each time i'd be foolish enough to turn my head to men. and i noe i hurt You deeply whenever i do that... and God i wished i didnt hurt You. i wished i didnt choose others before You, and i wished i didnt rely on them instead of You. each time i do, i'd come back to square one... broken and down, falling back into Your arms, crying over a broken heart and spirit. but You neva fail to lift my head up, You neva fail to comfort me in my brokeness. lift me up jesus, i need You. help me to look to you always, help me to seek You always. i dun wan to look to men. im trying hard to find You Lord... and everytime i tell myself, "yes i will run the race, until i see You face to face..." i wan nothing else but You... teach me the true meaning of "the old is gone, a new day has come". Lord i will throw my life upon all that You are, because i know that You gave it all for me. i need You now Lord... come consu(me).

9:05 pm
mayhemisphere;
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Saturday, August 21, 2004


jiawei lost the semi's. ronald lost the quarter's. xueling lost the quarter's. do i sound like im disappointed and upset at their performance? yes, im definitely disappointed. but no, im not upset. owaes been a fan of watching major sporting events like the sea games and especially the olympics. and everything singapore is playing, i'd be like a kancheong spider sitting in front of the television, twisting and turning the edge of my shirt, biting my nails and experiencing heart-stopping moments. i love singapore, and i love to see my country brought onto table tennis tables, badminton courts or even swimming lanes... seeing my country's athletes doing our country proud. and this olympics has been especially special. ronald upset world no.1 in the round of 16. xueling and jiawei both found themselves among the top 8 of the women's singles table tennis. jiawei then went on to defeat her long-time nemesis wang nan, also world no.2. what more can i say? even if they went on to lose their respective matches, i was proud of my country man! i'd beamed with pride and excitement in school and elsewhere, because i was simply proud that my "little red dot" could be on par with worldclass athletes that come from champion countries like china. i was simply proud of the athletes that fought with all their hearts to give our little country a chance to have our flag raised at the olympics. though it'd mean a bonus if we got a medal after a 44 year-long haul, at the end of the day, it really doesn't matter to me. im jus so proud of my country. im so proud of what a little country like singapore is capable of. and i cant wait to see how these athletes would one by one make singapore more than jus a "financial hub". by the way, even if jiawei loses her bronze medal match tmr... its ok. because the singapore dream prevails for singapore - the singapore dream prevails for me.

11:21 pm
mayhemisphere;
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Wednesday, August 18, 2004


have you caught the olympics commercial? the one that says "imagine the olympics without you..." the olympics would be lifeless without its fervent supporters, the resounding clappers and never ceasing cheers of loyal fans. everything would seem purposeless if nobody cared about the olympics. a gold medal would mean nothing if the athlete couldnt reward himself with the approving support of his people. even an attempt at gold would seem meaningless. i tried to imagine my life without the inclusion of some people. well it'd be pathetic... but i guess i'd get by. after all, im pretty much learning to be more independent now that jc life requires that of me. but a life without God... now that wouldnt even be life. i cant imagine myself having to face everyday's struggles, stress and challenges without God's strength with me. i cant imagine having no one else to run to at the end of the day when everyone and everything else fails me. i cant imagine having no God to cry to, no God to sing to, no God to worship to, no God to praise to... no God to live with. i cant imagine a life without God. my life without God... i'd be jus walking down the road to nothingness. i need God so much everyday. the more i love Him, the more i feel the desire to glorify His name. the more i love Him, the more i wan to reflect a life that's worthy to be called child of God. im jus so awed. so enthralled. so bought over by His everlasting mercy and grace. so much that i cant help but sing His praise with all the capacity my heart has and even more -- all the days of my life.

9:35 pm
mayhemisphere;
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Sunday, August 15, 2004

i dun noe how to say exactly how i feel
and i cant begin
to tell You what Your love has meant
im lost for words

is there a way to show the passion in my heart?
can i express how truly great i think You are?
my dearest Friend
Lord this is my desire
to pour my love on You

like oil upon Your feet,
like wine for You to drink,
like water from my heart,
i'll pour my love on You

if praise is like perfume
i'll lavish mine on You
till every drop is gone
i'll pour my love on You

8:58 pm
mayhemisphere;
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Saturday, August 14, 2004


whee!! new computer!! (thanks a lot mum!) dun haf to bear with my current laggy piece of junk le! but seriously... this computer has gone thru a lot of wind wind rain rain with me. dunno kena reformat how many times, kena more than a thousand viruses before, changed motherboard, upgraded memory ram, added cd burner... from windows 98 to 98 plus to 2000 and finally to xp. its been a good 6 years or so. well now that the new dell has arrived, this old junk will not be thrown into "cold palace"... would still be in use for offline stuff. cant wait for the new dell to be set up though... now that the pc is settled, can work towards my zentouch dream. yays! lol.
cough recurred... its worse. but taking medication and believing God for healing. had econs and gp common test today. this round of common test... well lets jus say its crucial for me. after screwing up my first and second round of common tests, im now under monitoring scheme... labelled the "potential retainees". its a terrible stigma to live with, and i noe i've probably got wrong studying methods. but gonna pick up that book by adam khoo and start working on brushing my learning techniques. gonna think, not mugg.
had one of the most anointed worship practices today... we could have gone on forever. suddenly i realized how the angels in heaven can go on forever. because its so wonderful a feeling to be praising and worshipping Him. its almost indescribable... "its like the wind... u cant see it, but u can feel it"... that's God's presence and anointing for you. looking forward to tmr's service. gonna give my heart into worshipping. its fun worshipping God. xD

10:28 pm
mayhemisphere;
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Tuesday, August 10, 2004

always...

did You rise the sun for me?
or paint a million stars that
i might know Your majesty?
is Your voice upon the wind?
is everything i've known marked
with my Maker's fingerprints?

can i feel You in the rain?
abandon all i am to have You
capture me again?
let the earth resound with praise
can you hear as all creation lives to glorify one Name?

breathe on me
let me see Your face
ever i will see You...

cause all You are is all i want
always...
draw me close in Your arms
oh God, i wanna be with You...

1:23 am
mayhemisphere;
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Friday, August 06, 2004

kaishi

xie titu...oh man, my xie titu. without doubt the bubbliest among us, and if i could give her another nickname, i'd call her the excitement generator. everywhere she goes, she generates excitement, joy and most of all, laughter. it'd be impossible to forget the times where we'd imitate the people on scv in gracie's house. then the next day, we'd stage them in class. titu was the one who started us imitating the 3 judges from american idol, and she's owaes the one to come up with the funniest unfunny jokes, and you'd never be able to find another girl who can burp like she can. she's my xie titu, and one of the reasons why i neva regretted going to stnics. xie titu has this uncanny ability to "shi miao zhong diao lei", something none of us can accomplish; to psycho herself to be sick; and the most frequent student to apply for early dismissal form at the same time, the same time every single month. i love to irritate her by shouting into her phone to her mum, and after that, run away because the calling time has exceeded one minute. it is pretty obvious that her mum welcomes me at her house anytime, but she insists that her mum hates me and will never let me in. be around titu will always be moments filled with laughter and fun.

gracie

she's the mopeng of the group. lol, its still such a hilarious thing to think of how such silly nicknames came about. i guess these will be stories that only we ourselves can understand and truly know. i haf to admit that i didn't remember grace existed in the first half of sec 1, but later on because of titu, i got to noe this seemingly quiet girl. over the years, i think we've built this very special kind of friendship that cant be put into words. sure, we had world war 3 of our own in sec 3... but i think, without that, we would've have been what we are today. she's one of the very few people whom im comfortable shopping for clothes with. the most important person of our future restaurant plan, she's the only one among us who can actually cook a dish without it being too dry, too salty or too raw. she claims that she' cute...which titu and me tend to differ. we gals have lotsa fun slacking at her house...to the extent of us rotting away. gracie's house has got this spell... u go in determined to study and u jus stay inside sleepy, sleepy and sleepy. er-ge is her act shuai brother... and da-ge is the very scary character. goin thru tough routines of physical training or endless studying... im jus glad i haf gracie to go thru with me.

jianing

jianing and i have this habit of joking about how "long" we've known each other. to date, its been 4 months and 15 days. not a very long time, heh? but we act as if we've been lifelong friends already. it's a very funny thing actually. jianing is actually titu's friend from ny...and we all ended up in aj. at first when i knew jianing, i was certain that i'd love to be her friend, but i never knew how she felt. you see, i never thought that there'd be any other friend who would be able to accept me like titu and gracie. as in...i've had these bunch for 4 years, do i need any other friend? well jianing is like my lao peng you now...and im proud to say that im oso her p.a hoho, jianing loves to say "horrendous", "dong gua cha", "terrible" and oh ya, i love to tease her and her and her dear seng seng...wahaha!

you wouldn't believe this, the four of us, though in the same school, are studying four different subject combinations and we all are in 4 different classes! people would think it's impossible...but well, yes! and im not ashamed to say that i cherish these people very very very much. every single second spent together. haha, even those 2 minutes before the bell rings every morning that we use to share the latest gossips, stories, and jokes. even those few times where we bump into each other in school. every single second – because they mean a lot to me, u see. that's why im afraid of losing these dear friends. its all becoming such a real fear for me. for example, look at titu. she's such a lovable person, and so obviously loved in her class. who wouldn't want to be her friend? gracie..well her status is different now, and i really dun hold anything against her for that. jianing has no lack of friends either. i dun wan us to grow apart, i dun wan us to stop meeting together to rot and laugh and roll on the floor like mad idiots. but sadly, i really dunno if there is anything i can do to stop that from taking place. im clear that thinking about such things isn't really right...but aiyar! i jus really really love these people and hold them dear to my heart. so dear, so dear.

6:54 pm
mayhemisphere;
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sis bought another new phone. yes, i noe... -.-", absolutely o_0! her what... 4th or 5th phone this year. yes im totally envious... green with envy. but what can i do? im a poor idiot compared to her. my pocket money's barely enough to sustain my expenses plus givings. so i can stop thinking so much. stop thinking about the creative 20gb zentouch, about the hewlett packard pavilion desktop, about the adidas original jacket, about the billabong sling bag, the... ok i should really jus shut up.

4:55 pm
mayhemisphere;
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Tuesday, August 03, 2004


God is so good. mrs tan has gone on maternity leave and the 3 classes that she takes will be taken over by current j1 teachers. and im so blessed -- mrs magdalene low's takin over my class. u noe, there are so many econs teachers in j1, and i really cant think of any teachers worthy of being called good teachers other than mrs tan and mrs low. blessed enough to be taught by mrs tan... and now to be relieved by mrs low... its definitely not luck. its God. i didnt even really pray abt it... it was jus 'God i hope its mrs low'. God is really so good. all the more i feel obliged to make good with what God's blessed me with. today when i was singled out along with 4 other classmates for under monitoring... my heart felt such a huge pang of sadness. i jus couldnt listen to what mr tan was trying to tell us. i was hearing, but i wasnt listening. i should be doing really well, because of the God that i believe in. i should be excellent in my studies, i should be soaring high on the scoreboard, because of the God working in my life. why is it that i haf the worst results in class? i was really confused. zoomed out of the class before anyone could catch the tears in my eyes. yes, im afraid of being retained. yes, im fearful of the stigma that comes with being retained. but most importantly, im afraid of being "the kid who believes in Christ and yet fails her school year". i dun wan to let God down. i dun wan to be the black sheep of God's family. all i wan is to honour God and glorify Him. i jus wan to be worthy.
7:58 pm
mayhemisphere;
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im. chenyingjia.
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