Monday, March 29, 2004

i don't have a dream. but i have a desire -- a burning desire, to see the youths in my church rise up. rise up to worship and love the Lord with all their hearts, all their souls, all their minds, all of the being of what they are. we, including myself... we need to rise up in wisdom and in stature, grow strong in spirit and in the Lord. becus the Lord is everything, He really is. i desire to see all of us start to be reverent about the men that God uses; start to be serious to what the Word has to say; start to be obedient to what the voice of God wants us to do; start to be diligent in reading and studying His Word; and most importantly, begin to see God as the one and only King worthy of our praises and worship. because nothing else is worthy -- not the latest fads in town, not the most recent pop songs or raps, not the "coolest" way of saying things, not our peers and definitely not the traps that the evil one has set for us. it is so easy to say "i love God" and yet go against what His Word has taught us not to do. i admit it, i've been doing that so much. im a sinner, but im not afraid to say i am. because im determined to exchange my sins for purity. God didn't send precious Jesus to die on the cross, jus to see me waste away His love and His sacrifice. im not about to let Jesus die for nothing - not in a million years.
its gonna be hard, but i will work hard to live for Jesus. its gonna be tough, but i will work hard to serve Jesus. anyway He requires me to -- be it tolerating things and behaviour... jus to love His youth; be it going out of the way to do things not required of me... jus to meet that need i see; or be it jus being still and acknowledging His Lordship over my life. i will, i will do whatever it requires, and whatever He requires... jus to see God's youth rising up to love the Lord. i noe that as i do, God will cause me to rise up too. He never misses.

here i am, Lord, use me.

8:53 pm
mayhemisphere;
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Friday, March 26, 2004

ive waited all my life to be here face to face
ive never knew that i could feel this kind of grace
the way You showed me that Your love has washed me clean
could never be erased it lives inside of me

take me to that secret place
where i can only see Your face
and nothing else will ever feel this way
You take away my guilty stains
the things ive done that i cant change
its only by the power of Your name

i stand here in this place
see the glory on Your face
taken by the wonder of Your name
im desperate for Your touch
never needed it so much
cuz all i want is You

when all the things around me has fallen to the ground
im always thankful for the love in You ive found
take me to that secret place
where i can only see Your face
and nothing else will ever feel this way
You take away my guilty stains
the things ive done that i cant change
its only by the power of Your name

i stand here in this place
see the glory on Your face
taken by the wonder of Your name
im desperate for Your touch
never needed it so much
cuz all i want is You

i love God so much. He's all i need, He's all i want. i love God so much.

8:35 pm
mayhemisphere;
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Monday, March 22, 2004

happy birthday gracie.

ur truly a gem.
i love u.

9:51 pm
mayhemisphere;
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Sunday, March 21, 2004

happy birthday ma-ma!

i had wanted to write a poem
jus something extravagant
to say happy birthday to u
but i couldnt --
the ideas wouldnt flow
so i sat down fretting
thinking of ways to make this special
and then it hit me
that i didnt haf to.
i didnt haf to say more
it was as simply as abc
i jus had to put it across
that its ur birthday
and i'd like to say happy birthday to u
its jus those 4 simple words
creamed with lots of love
topped with lots of care
so heres a very happy birthday.

and u noe something?
i love u very much.

7:10 pm
mayhemisphere;
........

God doesnt tell us His plans
cus we wldnt believe Him anyway

God has said it, i believe it, that settles it. yes this is it. anderson jc -- im a future andersonian. the sch of my first choice. one of the top 5 jc! its such a blessing, such a blessing indeed. such a blessed child of god i am. being able to choose between schools that are among the top... being able to be posted to the sch of my first choice... u noe how that feels? lemme tell u -- it feels like im on top of the world! well i dun think many people noe about my posting, not many asked... but it doesnt matter. i noe how this grace feels like, i noe how this blessing feels like and im gonna jus soak in it. been told... aj is a real stressful school and all that... but at the moment, it doesnt really matter. i'll jus linger around in the atmosphere of this blessing and take joy from it. its a blessing -- i noe it is. its a best -- God's best.

7:09 pm
mayhemisphere;
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Friday, March 19, 2004

whatever it took, He did.
whatever He asks, i will.

since ive found Your love
ive never needed anything to fill my heart
even when i fall
You're always there with open arms to pick me up
from the start i knew
no one else could make me feel the way You do
everyday i wan to grow
jus a lil bit closer, jus a lil bit closer
i wanna be a reflector
i wanna shine with Your glory
i wanna let the whole world noe that You're living in me
i wanna burn with Your fire
shine my light a little brighter
i wanna let the whole world know that
Jesus lives in me

12:25 am
mayhemisphere;
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Thursday, March 18, 2004

Loving God is my sweetest romance;
Seeking Him is my wildest adventure;
Finding Him is my greatest achievements;
Staying with Him is my best advantage

its been a most empowering and enriching 3-day. the best 3 days i've ever spent. never have i been so free to express my liberty, never have i been so eager to shout my praise, never have i been so proud to be a reflector, and never have i been so honoured to proclaim His Lordship. synerg!2. a synergy of youths all over singapore, coming together just for one purpose -- to worship; coming together just for one mission -- to call back to lost. i pray this seed sown will germinate in our youths, will take root and grow into greater works for the Lord. cus He's the only one worthy of praise, He's the only one i will bow down to. there ain't no buddy like the Holy Ghost buddy cus the Holy Ghost buddy dun stop. still need to pray though, for the empowering to speak to my friend's lives... the wisdom to lead them back. ugh! i dunno wad else to say other than i love God, i love God, i love God!!

let the Heavens and the earth
shout Your majesty and glory
let the oceans sing their song
every tongue will tell its story
of Your majesty
and Your never-ending Power
let the whole earth sing to You
i will give my heart to You
in everything i do
coz You are the One im living for
and i will lift my hands in praise
serve You all my days
coz You are the One im living for

1:49 pm
mayhemisphere;
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Sunday, March 14, 2004

how else but thru a broken heart
may the Christ Lord enter in

im jus not in the mood to write
i jus wan to fall in His arms and cry

... ... cry my heart out

6:26 pm
mayhemisphere;
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Friday, March 12, 2004

Don’t look at yourself through your eyes.
Look through God’s eyes

as i rest against this cold hard wall will you pass me by
will you criticize me as i sit and cry
i had fought so hard and thought that all my battles have been won
only to find the war has just begun
will my weakness for an hour make me suffer for a lifetime
is there any way to be made whole again
if i feel renewed and find forgiveness find a strength i’ve never had
will my scars forever ruin all God’s plan

is He not strong enough?
is He not pure enough?
to break me, pour me out
and start again
is He not brave enough?
to take one chance on me?
please can i have one chance to start again

He took my life into His hands
and turned it all around
in my most desperate circumstance
its there im finally found

that You were strong enough
that You were pure enough
to break me, pour me out
and start again
that You were brave enough
to take one chance on me
oh thank You for my chance to start again

6:22 am
mayhemisphere;
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Thursday, March 11, 2004

a God wise enough to create me and the world i live in
is wise enough to watch out for me

from the first bursts of daybreak, to the last minutes of twilight... ever sat down on a wide patch of grassland, jus to sit down and marvel at the magnificence of all creation around us? ok i admit it, i havent. im not really the type to get a punge of melancholia every now and then, and i certainly am not an ultimate romantic fool. but this isnt about romance. its rather simple, actually. its jus about one big God and His big love. oh, did i forget to mention His big awesomeness? and His everlasting love? ok, i think you get the idea. well you see, this one big God decided since forever that He loves us soooo much, and i'll bet you my bottom dollar He loves us more than i love my little piglet at home. and cus He loves us soooo much, He cant help but give us the best that He's got. you see those snow-capped mountains over in the Himalayas? well that's the tallest place on earth, try to get a glimpse of heaven there. oh, and those long long walls over in china? its almost as if telling us, His love goes on and on and on like those walls, only longer. what about the magnificent views u could catch from the empire state building? its really nothing compared to what He's got to show you up there. ever had a friend who had such a big and beautiful house? lemme let u in on something, there's more to come.
and so now just stop for one moment. take maybe 5 seconds or so, to jus look above and really thank Him for all that He's done. i jus did that. i read somewhere before, that a single grateful thought to heaven is the best prayer. u noe, if this one big God could go ahead and create the best invention ever, ahem, that's us -- man, and along with us man, great technologies and discoveries, dun u think He could inspire more? more lovely thoughts, special moments and little miracles in life. more ways to tell u, "hey, little guy, I'm watchin out for you. go ahead and play with the sand in the playground, i'll be here all the while." you get it? He's like a big daddy. a big daddy takes care of his little kid, loves him like there's nothing else more beautiful or treasurable on this face of the earth, but at the same time, watches out for him while letting him grow at his own pace.
i've got one big Daddy, you've got Him too, we share Him. isnt He jus so wonderfuuuull? i feel like a little princess jus waiting to be loved -- right there in my Daddy's arms.

12:41 am
mayhemisphere;
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Tuesday, March 09, 2004

sometimes the Lord calms the storm.
sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.

lately ive been winning battles left and right
but even soldiers can get wounded in the fight
people say that im amazing
im strong beyond my years
but they dont see inside of me
im hiding all my fears
they dont know
that i come running home when i fall down
they dont know
who picks me up when no one is around
i drop my sword
and cry for just a while
cause deep inside this armour
the warrior is a child

i wiped the tears from my eyes, opened my arms wide...
and run into my Father's arms.

11:52 pm
mayhemisphere;
........

i stayed at home today again. well i really wanted to turn up in sch today, but somehow i jus couldnt get any sleep last nite. so at 5.30am this morn i was as dead groggy. could hardly open my eyes, but could hardly get some sleep too. decided that i wld drop dead if i turned up in class. checked my timetable, and the moment i discovered there were no history classes today, the decision was set. i was not going to sch. well i kinda struggled with the decision and the uneasiness of not being in sch again, but oh well, what could i do. i really needed rest. and its really funny really. the moment my decision was made, i could go back to sleep. had a good rest till 9am. maybe its sch that's bothering me... but alas, its over isnt it. i'll jus haf to pray for a good rest tonite, and turn up in sch tmr no matter what.

1:09 pm
mayhemisphere;
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Monday, March 08, 2004

yeah!! finally finish doing up my bloggie. so long neva touch blog, forgot wad all my stuff were already also... whew, at last managed to retrieve all my original stuff. yeah!! aiyah but i oso dunno wad to blog now liao...
oh yea, today neva go sch again... sian of it. today's lessons geog geog chinese chinese... dun even wan to take these subs liao, go sch for wad. hee hee! so how? i stay at home at rot lorr...

10:49 am
mayhemisphere;
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Friday, March 05, 2004

im a little blackie soya sauce...
here is my tau and here is my yu
when i get all steamed up hear me shout
tip me over pour me out

8:11 pm
mayhemisphere;
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